Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 30th January, 1960

Dear Varadachari,

Please write to me if you feel a change in your condition from 27th or 28th January. There decidedly is a change although not so sharp because you have acquired mostly the changeless state. After the receipt of your letter I shall write clearly the change occurred. It is of course inexpressible, but from the hints I receive something.

....

Yours,

Ram Chandra

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 12th February, 1960

My dear Varadachari,

Transformation

Received all your affectionate letters. Utsava is over in full divine grace. Shri Shiv Mohan Lal had joined the function along with his family. He was very grateful to you for leading him to the right path. He also remarked that he found you completely transformed and the same thing I heard about from other quarters too. The opinion of all these laymen offers sufficient proof of your transformation and you can thereby infer your true state.

Negation

It is surprising to note that you feel dejection even in your present state. I pondered over it a good deal but I could not arrive at a definite conclusion. Then on peeping within you I discovered a pool like within, which was widening. There was no condition in it. Now I am definite over the conclusion. The negation is started and is developing. You say that there is no evidence of peace and absorption in the Infinite and life has become meaningless. I think, Doctor you are relating about my own state. I am trying to make you and all others like me. The transmission as you say that is consciousness has taken a deeper turn beyond mental aspect. For an experiment take some well advanced abhyasi and transmit to him for not more than 2 or 3 minutes from your own level of the present state and let him relate his condition. But take due precaution so that it is not intense.

You say that the condition is not up to my expectations. That is right but thank God that it is coming.

Withdrawl

Feeling of the withdrawal of power means something akin to nothingness. I had already told you when I was there that I do not want to have in you even power but only its ultimate state. In that condition the power when it is required is there. As a test concentrate a little forcing yourself to it you will feel the power within.

I am sorry that your merits are not rewarded by the University although you are spoken of so highly by the learned men all over the country. Personally I am of opinion that if we are deprived of all things necessary for the upkeep of worldly life and in its place the inner life which is worth having is given to us we are in no way the loser.

In the letter dated 15th January you write that you experienced a flow of light power which filled your whole being. I think this experience must be over all convincing that some superior power is at work for your good and all that is happening is right.

....

Submission

On this Path, I think the question of changing the outer circumstances does not fit in aptly. It is rather that the abhyasi has to adapt himself to circumstances in order to practise submission to the Divine Will. The Divine Will is predominant and the circumstances are the results thereof. We have to learn to take them as divine gift. Of course, I agree with you that it is not an easy job for a common man to get up to it, so the natural limitations appear to be most distressing to him. But instead of worrying over the circumstances which are often beyond his control, it is better to apply his effort for the mending of his own grosser self.

But the difficulty is that most of those who come to you for spiritual pursuit as they profess, are inwardly actuated by material purposes which they wish to have adjusted according to their liking and taste. If they do not have it they break off and even if they have it they will not stick to it because their purpose is served. There have been several cases like that. My Master's ways of spiritual training are absolutely free from material touch. I know that certain saints do offer such material allurements and they are often successful to some extent, but it is definite that for this they have to deviate from the right path and resort to unspiritual ways which for me would be the bitterest pill to swallow. I strictly abide by the directions laid down by Master and shall not like to adopt unspiritual ways at any cost.

No doubt I try to transform everybody who comes to me, to whatever extent it may be possible at the time, for I think it to be my duty. But then something rests on the man as well. It is for him to let the transformation work its way. Where this is lacking the man though he may at the time be induced to follow the practise, will definitely break off after some time.

System meant exclusively for liberation

My difficulties are manyfold. I have to take everything upon myself, i.e., to discuss and convince, to create craving and constancy, to mould and transform and finally to keep him firm upon the path. But I do not grudge it provided full co-operation is coming forth from the other side. It is however, a matter of pity that in certain cases even co-operation is wanting. What do you, my dear Doctor, think of such cases? By this time you too must have experienced that quite a good number comes in without having the real craving. All that they seek for is external or material. Our system is meant exclusively for the attainment of liberation and beyond, hence far far away from baser ideals. The same I impart to every one even from my very first contact but this takes time to mature into fullness if he is eager for it. Those coming to me without the real craving often lack patience to wait for the transformation to take deeper roots and to work out its results. I am at a loss to understand what to do in such cases, unless I induce myself to force everything into them. But that may be a risky process.

There is an organisation in this part of the country, which professes to impart spirituality. It commands a pretty large following and people who join it, seldom break off even though some of them, to my personal knowledge, are greatly disgusted and averse. The thing as I find it is that they have adopted to unspiritual ways to keep them bound fast not only by inducements and allurements but even by frights and threats. But when I study their inner condition, I find not one of them having any spiritual achievement but only caught up by some material force. You will find hardly one amongst them who is nearer the Mark in any way.

No Maya in Transmissions

Whereas, in your Sanstha, you will be happy to note that none of the preceptors including yourself has ever the slightest touch of maya in all his transmissions. It is only the pure wave that runs through from him to the abhyasi. In my opinion such pious methods must all cost be adhered to in order to promote piety and righteousness all over. I pray for the making of such noble personalities to work for the enlightenment of the world and time alone shall bring the results to light. We must try heart and soul to prepare such worthy souls as may be useful and helpful to the future world. It matters little if a few break off from us, because what they have gained during their brief contact will develop in the subsequent life, if not in this one. Thus our labour is by no means wasted or lost.

....

With best wishes,

Yours,

Ram Chandra

P.S ....

The opinion of your friends about yourself, is not correct. Even a developed soul cannot understand the real condition of a man like you, because it is not very easy to guess the highly subtle states.

Ashram

Let others grow externally but we are to come out from the inner to the outer. Sooner or later your Ashram shall too be constructed definitely because it has turned into one of our objects. A poor hut, which is available and accessible is more valued than a big palace which is inaccessible to us.

....

Ram Chandra

Shanjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 6th March 1960

My dear Varadachari,

....

Method Disease

For the health of the sister I like to suggest to transmit her once or twice a week with the suggestion of the improvement of her health. The transmission should be very light and not fully concentrated. For removing the disease the process is the same that it is going out in the form of vapour or smoke. Both of you can do this process at your leisure hours.

....

Divinity working through KCV

The abhyasis are getting calm by your transmission while you feel irritated, restless and so on. The reason is simple that Divinity itself works through you and you play the part of humanity which is essential for the man having bodies. A saint at his highest approach cannot wash off the humanity because the life in that case will be extinct. This limitation will always remain and it will play one part or the other, that is the secret of Nature. My dear Varadachari, have you ever observed, at the time when you get irritated, the constant incursion of ideas and feelings of the external worlds? If you study deeply you will find yourself just like a man on the top of the hills looking towards the man walking on the base. Shri Raghavendra Rao very recently has written to me, but in a peculiar way, that he observes perfect peace while thoughts come and go but he does not feel as they are. If any of us takes the idea deeply and concentrates on it he will find the intensity greater.

I had written to you in one of my postcards that I prayed to God to give you remuneration for the writings with which you have now begun to enrich the Mission. I am delighted that my prayer is granted and am seeing its effect now after a month or so. You will laugh at me if I disclose it and everybody will do so. It shall be adding godliness to God.

You are so highly intellectual that I am proud of having you in our midst as our associate, but at the time it was to me a shadow of the real intellect. Now I find that it has been transformed mostly into its real aspect. More than 3/4 work is over. I will now write when the work is complete. Your mood of writing is now changed and purity is there. Please observe.

Crossing of 1st Ring of the Central Region

I am transmitting to you almost daily for the last 10 or 12 days. What I am doing I will not tell you unless the work is complete or I may get some hints from yourself/ I like to inform you that you have crossed the first ring about 20 or 25 days ago and that was the order of my Master for doing so. The system must have grown lighter. You must not be feeling even the weight of the body or of the soul just a little.

With kind regards,

Yours affectionately,

Ram Chandra

13th March, 1960

My dear and revered Gurudev

Restlessness

I do not know about my future. Frankly let me confess that I am tired of this kind of life and I do not know how I can indeed be useful to God or the Master.

I do not nowadays even think of what I am and where I am in the higher stages. I have more karma about me which is flowing into me. The plains have been too much with me though I may be at the top of the Hill. Regarding my physical condition, I donot see that Master is really worried about me-ever since I believe Master mentioned that my condition is like a tubercular patient unable to do anything by oneself. .....

I do feel quite all right otherwise; I do feel light and not heavy. Sometimes some sensations are about the chest region both near the heart and about the sternum to the left as well as to the right alternately.

....

KCV

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 4th April, 1960

My dear Varadachari,

....

GITA

You have written in the letter dated 6th March, 1960 that you do not know when you should be aware of the Divine State at all. May I ask you whether you feel restlessness still to gain the divine state? The other thing you will please also intimate to me whether you feel the mood of thoughts quite distilled. Now I express the meaning of adityavarnam tamasah parastat according to my poor ability. In chapter 8 sloka 9 of Bhagvad Gita the Lord has described the effulgent form of ultimate Reality, which is the object of all upasana. This is also the point of all beginning as the word adi in adityavarnam suggests. But beyond it lies the still finer region of Reality which the Lord has described in slokas 20 and 21 of the same chapter 15. This is the region beyond all beginning, where even upasana, in the ordinarily comprehensible sense of the term has come to an end. As it may be dangerous to speak of the end of upasana before those who have not yet tasted the condition in a natural way, the adityavarnam may advantageously be described as the ultimate condition to them. You have stepped into the finer region of Reality. So please note and compare your experiences recalling your previous conditions through which you have already passed.

He is beyond everything that can be imagined, seen or heard. We reach Him after crossing the splendour and so on created by Him.

Anna

You have made a very fine point in attempting to derive the word anna from the root an (breath) instead of ad (to eat). The grammarians sometimes have failed to grasp the real significance of words from the point of view of the nature and development of Reality due to their over emphasis on symbols and preoccupation with language.

Consciousness-Root Cause of Life

I saw a peculiar dream in the night of 30th March. What I remember I lay before you which may explain your meaning of anna. Somehow I got the wound of a dagger in the neck and died. I was thrown in the river. There was no breath and no beating in the heart but I was conscious of what has happened. A man knowing that I was assassinated by somebody wanted to report to the police of the incident so he examined me thoroughly. He examined the pulse which was stopped and he also found the beating of the heart ceased but I was aware of all this although there was no breath. The life began to creep again, the beatings of the pulse commenced and the heart resumed its function. Afterwards I got up from sleep and began to muse over it. I came to the conclusion that consciousness was there although the breath and other things were not there and the body was lying lifeless. It goes to show that consciousness is the root cause of life. I think this was the vision shown to me to solve the mystery of breath. How far I am correct in my judgement I leave it to you.

Regarding your spiritual state I like to deal with it after some time but I will not hesitate to say that I must give thanks to God that you have such an excellent state. The experience of the ultimate begins when every experience dies out.

Living Dead

Those who have acquired laya avastha in Brahman as much as is possible for the human being remain in it sometimes with the full depth and sometimes a little shallow. A man fully absorbed in Brahman all the time cannot do any work but will look like a statue. The condition which you enjoy at present can be called a little above the ignorance. Do you feel as if you have lost something? You have yourself written you feel that all things have lost meaning and you feel yourself as dead. Is it an ordinary state? If you translate the condition as living dead it will explain your condition better. You are not laggard, your abhyasis feel very good condition which is due to your own state.

....

I wish that you may be free from the marriages of the children and their education within four or five years and the boys may become the earning members of the family. When the responsibility is over, you will be left free to devote yourself exclusively to the work of the Mission. The charms of life and the world are totally lost and I feel no interest in this world.

....

Yours,

Ram Chandra

Shanjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 16th April, 1960

My dear Varadachari,

Realisation

In the perfection of the spirit Divine attributes are developed. If it has the bearing of something it is not on the point of full realisation. It has the awareness having of no awareness for the past, and a little moulding will enable it to know the abstract. Humanity remains even if one be at the top of realisation as I had written to you in one or two letters. My submission is that anubhava and everything should go into one channel. I shall write to you further on this point after some time.

....

Respect to Appaji.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 8/9th May, 1960

My dear Varadachari,

Development of Material Will

I have mentioned in Efficacy of Raja Yoga bisecting the heart that it contains two regions upper and lower. The lower one is the dark but it can be made use of. If you transmit two or three seconds not more than that, that the will is developing material will, it is the best method. This region is for material benefit.

....

GangaYamuni Transmission

Shri Krishnaji Maharaj often transmits us and your feeling about it is correct. He named as it ganga yamuni transmission.

....

Love to children.

Yours,

Ram Chandra

June 4th, 1960

....

A Query

P.S. I have been thinking of writing about my experiences as a preceptor. This thought came to me this morning as I was transmitting to Shri Srinivasulu. I found that I was withdrawing him into myself, a thing which I experienced was being done by Thee in regard to me. Indeed I felt that I was drawing in all the abhyasis into me and then lifting them up to the higher levels. Is it correct? Again I was experiencing the process of central purification as a complement of the circumferential purification or centripetal and centrifugal corresponding to the pilu-paka and pithara paka theories of the Vaisesika philosophers.

Yours loving,

KCV

1st July, 1960

My dear Revered Gurudev,

....

Personally my condition is not quite to my inner satisfaction. So long as there is dissatisfaction there is need for progress to the Ultimate. Nothing has been satisfying. I do not know really why it is so. I am not easily pleased with all that has happened. Master, canst you not grant me that which is totally transforming and satisfying till...? It appears that I am in a peculiar state of non-knowing whilst I am yet performing the work of the preceptor to the satisfaction of the abhyasis.

With pranams and love,

Yours,

KCV

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 6th July, 1960

My dear Varadachari,

....

Your feeling of dissatisfaction over your present state is in fact due to the reaction of my thought, since in your case I have been proceeding with an idea of farthest approach into the Infinite and I am on with it and shall not be satisfied till then and it is unlimited. Dejection in this respect is of course a human weakness and must be overcome. Can you say what you mean by the state of 'non-knowing' as you say? Does it not correspond to some extent with the state of ignorance as discussed in the Anant Ki Or?

....

I received a letter from Shri V. Mohan Rao of Rajampet stating as follows : - (While sitting in satsangh with you) "I saw Dr. Varadachari disappear and appear in turns. I found an aura of light. He changed and in his place I saw your (Ram Chandra's) figure. I was calm - no thought s- no questions - and no necessity for mental sphere to dominate in the peace of calmness. I sat thus for half an hour. I came out as fresh as the morning dew."

He could not express correctly. But it was an indication for him to think you and me alike. Now you can yourself infer to what extent you are absorbed in me.

....

With best wishes,

Yours,

Ram Chandra

Shahjahanpur, U.P.

Dated 30th July 1960

My dear Varadachari,

Experience of the Ultimate

Now I come to your letter. You pray for the full experience of the Ultimate and you write in your letter dated 21st July 1960, that the regions you were moving in, were transcendental, grey with lightning hue. Your anubhav is entirely correct and this is one of the experiences of the Ultimate.

But I pray that lightning should also give way. To speak the truth, hardly there may be one or two persons having such a state throughout India, and they may be only in this Mission. The saints no doubt there are in India, but this marvelous condition will be found nowhere else. This is also a fact that sometimes you are led away towards despondency by the torturous touch of the world. The reason is that you are sensitive like myself and my temper in the early age coincides with yours. It is now refined by the grace of God, and you will too find the same in yourself. But as I have written to you, that the bondage of humanity cannot be removed lest the soul may jump out in its ultimate state. But I tell you that it is by your own force of will that the trouble develops so much. So we should always take the medium course. If it is necessary to take up any problem we should think its pros and cons and after coming to any definite decision, we should stick to it.

There is every hope for the betterment of India and the world at large. The personality working for the change of the world has almost finished his work, and it is coming very slowly to the earth in material form because if it is brought into full swing, the personality will have to depart immediately as his work will be over. I think I have mentioned it in my previous letter also. You have done well to exert yourself in cleaning the planets just like our world, they also have become charged with heaviness and grossness. The cleaning of the celestial worlds too is essential since the overhauling of the entire Universe is imminent and destined.

You are slowly moving towards the work of Nature which becomes automatic at your level of approach. You might have observed that when the oil of the Deepak has exhausted it gives out a flash before it is extinguished, the same thing is going on here.

....

Capacity

Our case is that we generally take in people who are wanting in capacity; most of them do not wait till the capacity for the inrush of grace is developed. That is why some of them walk off after doing it for sometime.

....

.... Sri Ishwar Sahai shall go though your notes. Talks on ... .' After he has finished this work. I think there may be little room for the criticism since they have come out from the super-conscious level of your state. If you recall your condition at time of giving it out, you will find that you were almost in a benumbed state.

....

Yours

Ram Chandra

Tirupati

23rd August 1960

My Dear Revered and Beloved Gurudev,

....

Absorption in the Centre

My own condition has been very peculiar. Whilst on the one hand I am not devoting even a second to meditation, I am almost always (especially during last week) in the peculiar condition of being absorbed in the center - with very cool calm feeling pervading me from above. Shri Dr. G.K. had the same feeling last week when I was transmitting him last Wednesday - and told me that it was something that he never previously experienced.

....

Of course I am sure that by Master's grace I am having the strength and faith to carry on with the day-to-day work. However trying the circumstances I am sure that constant presence of the Master in me is being felt.

With loving pranams to you ...

Yours truly,

KCV

Tirupati

September 4th 1960

My dear Revered Gurudev

....

I am writing this letter with a definite purpose of having your advice.

.....

Acquisition against the Sanstha

1. He is not pleased with the manner the sanstha is working. He avows faith in the Master but not in the sanstha. He further stated that he finds that all those who entered the sanstha have begun to suffer from all sorts of things: quarrels and disagreements with others, ill health, humiliation etc. Whereas he found relief from all these when he was with Ramana, he found that all these have revived when he came to this sanstha. He had been some person of importance in building up this sanstha at Tirupati and therefore he is very unhappy that he is not going properly.

Acceptance of Woes

He spoke about Manjunatha Ayer's losses etc.

Acceptance of Woes

But I told him that it is true that all of us are suffering but not due to entering into the sanstha and that our woes were being borne cheerfully as the gifts of God rather than as results of joining the sanstha. The crow-apple falling analogy will not be satisfactory (kakatalika-nyaya). Secondly Shri Manjunatha Aiyer did not complain about this and connect it with his becoming a member of this sanstha.

I also told him that I do not think any abhyasi agrees with his reading of the working of the sanstha. On the contrary all the abhyasis are steady and are having blissful experiences. (This deep experience of the cool fragrant power of the Divine light and not heavy bluish is being experienced by all. I called it the grace of Shri Krishna.) I told him that as such I am not at all agreeing with his view. I told him the sanstha is of the Master and indeed it will be steady in one individual at least and that is enough. People who have other aims and goals can go and achieve them elsewhere and not in this sanstha. I also reminded him that he should have known all this when he translated the Reality at Dawn. I told him without abhyas there is no sanstha.

As I knew that abhyas was not his idea and that meditation was not to his liking he said he will consider. He did not come for the satsangh today. I also told him that there is no compulsion for any one to stay in the sanstha if he felt that he can gain his ends elsewhere.

Arhat

I spoke to the satsangh today about this accusation against and insinuation about our sanstha. The danger is not so much from our abhyasis but by this false propaganda that he wishes to make to frighten everybody. I told that it is a welcome thing. It makes two things clear: God saves His devotees (name bhaktha pranasyti) and secondly that God removes all heavy things from one whom He has decided to save (yad anugraham icchami tasya vittam harami). One who is near the Ocean must be eager to be swallowed up by the Ocean - the bhakta is near the Ocean of Bliss and must be prepared to be drowned init or be flooded by it and attain beatitude. This is the nudity that God grants the nakedness that is to be practiced by those who are fit (arhats).

I shall be most happy if the Master will write to me in detail about the several things and myself and condition. I pray for fuller experience.

Thoughts during Transmission

My major difficulties are yet there (i) the encroachment of my thoughts during transmission, they come again and again. I pray that the mind be under the restraint; even when I think they are thine, they do not cease. Others or the abhyasis get the freedom from the mental but not I. Why? This when I am said to have reached the central region's circles of splendour.

....

With loving pranams,

Yours affectionately as body,

KCV

6th October 1960

My dear Revered Gurudev,

I found that my condition however remains same and the upward movement has not taken place. However now I have come to the conclusion that I should not worry myself. A friend yesterday spoke to me and said that though all have been profiting from my advice and predictions I myself continue to remain in the same place without improvement and recognition in my profession. I told him that I could do for others but nothing at all for myself. God alone could anything and he knows what is good for me. I said this remembering thy words: I can ask for others but I cannot ask for myself.

With loving pranams,

Yours,

KCV

19th October, 1960

My revered Gurudev,

Regarding my capacities Master alone is the judge. I am sometimes feeling diffident but somehow am going on with the work. How can I judge my room myself, I am always there and perhaps its condition and mine are identical? As Shri Aurobindo did not seek emancipation but sought only to change the earth-consciousness here I believe the heaviness is there and the sensation was about my feet when I meditated in the room of Shri Aurobindo. As for my capacities to purify that ashram I can only say that I have not done it at Tirupati yet-its gods and men are a perpetual anxiety to me. I believe that what the Master says about me will happen and I may do the service demanded by the Master. When will the South flow northwards and repay the debt that it has contracted? That is for the Master to decide.

....

With humble and loving pranams,

Yours as body,

KCV

November 29th, 1960

My revered and beloved Gurudev,

....

Transmissions

I have been passing through a lot of introspection and heart searching. Again of late I am utterly transmitting in darkness as it were, though the abhyasis feel entirely happy and elevated. Of course I feel myself dissolving and merging and so on. On the 20th satsangh I found myself transmitting from a centre lower down in the abdomen though I never knew of its existence previously. All that I felt was that the physical system was being attended to.

On the 27th satsangh I found myself in the middle of the transmission a great personality-white all through, coming and asking for initiation. It was of course not visible to others, but I found myself talking to her and finally gave her prayer. After that she departed. Though she was all luminous yet I felt that it was rather heavy atmosphere. Shri R. Annaih Naidu confirmed that he found a flow of light from overhead and pressing down his own chest region. But he did not see anything more. I felt again that it was the Mother of the Shri Aurobindo Ashram, but I am not competent to say more.

I am unable to explain these things. In many cases I am entirely in the dark.

With loving pranams.

Yours,

KCV

30th December, 1960

My dear Revered and beloved Gurudev,

....

I only pray that I may be able to discharge my obligations to all my daughters and sons without much suffering. I have been thinking of how best to write on the topics you have asked me. Yet I am not sure of the 7th School as to what it is. But all will be meaningless if it cannot clearly give a real account rather than an imaginative account like Swedenberg of Sweden.

Greatfulness

I am indeed grateful to you for blessing my present writing. Yet the world is not ready for this new direction and I have not yet fully changed. I am myself feeling diffident of many things what with the past with me. Anyhow am hoping that the things will change and change quickly for the ushering of the New message.

I wanted to know many things when you were here but somehow I am unable to ask or tell them. I know you to avoid telling many things and rightly perhaps from the cosmic point of view. I have not been able to understand many things clearly though I am accepting them since they come from you. To be able to write authoritatively and for the entire world one has to arrive at the stature of a world figure or cosmic figure, or else the works will simply be written off. I pray for many things but I am waiting for the Divine response. However I know that if all that thou hast done for me is to be taken it is sheer Grace itself, and Divine Grace in all its glory. How little I deserve the same I am aware of knowing only, so too my associates feel grateful to thee.

....

With loving pranams,

Yours,

KCV