U/L

1. At one point in these past 2 months, I felt thoroughly disgusted with my own past. I am very sorry. I want to beg for your forgiveness. I wish to lead a chaste and principled life from now on at whatever cost. Only due to his undifferentiated love and grace and the enormous help rendered to me, I am lifted out of such a desperate and deplorable state, and could live like a human being. I did not understand the need and what it means to be living in the Upper, and now I wish to follow the same.
Very paradoxically it is our nature to be in the Upper portion of heart. As a matter of advice I may tell you not to live in the past or the future but always live in the present in the company of Master who is with us always.

2. May I ask you a question related to the doctrin of rebirth?
Rebirth becomes necessary, when we have not learnt the lessons of higher values of life. In the context of Rev. Babujis’ system I would say that unless a person stabilizes himself in the U portion of the heart by living the values of Honesty, Compassion, Non injury to others, non-avarice, no-greed, chastity and absolutely fidelity and many more related values pertaining to the realm covered under U consciousness, Nature provides us opportunities to learn them by allowing us to be reborn and until we learn them the gates of higher consciousness do not open up.

3. Recently my eyes always looking at inner attachment with the being while doing worldly duties, even I look at the outer self of every being, I feel looking at the divine consciousness. I experiences prominent divine consciousness at my upper heart region while doing regular meditation.
What do you mean by divine consciousness? Do not use words which have to be used very carefully. As contrasted to the lower mind the higher mind is what is active in U portion of the heart. Its nature can be summarised in so many ways. Kindly read the articles on nature of Super consciousness of the inferior type.

Nature of Knots

1. Meditations: (a) All my meditations are a service to the Master. (b) He is always around. He moves everything. Everything belongs to Him. (c) Vibrations in the heart region and in the head. (d) I always end up crying when so ever I get the thought "Where are you Master?" I feel I miss Him at that time. This is happening at least once or twice a week for the past one month.
All these feelings are good and show that you have the grace of the Master. Do not you think that the item (d) above does not vibe with the item (b). Master is with us in our heart and all that we are doing in sadhana is to make His place pure. Crying is because of the associated emotional thoughts about the Master. When nothingness is our goal and that is the Master what emotions are possible? But what you feel is a feeling of many aspirants and may indicate your movement in knot 3.

2. Meditations: (a) My heart belongs to the Master, my atma belongs to the Master, and whole of me belongs to the Master. (b) These above feelings come in quick succession and thereafter the whole of heart and mind region start resonating. (c) Feel like continuing even when half an hour is over.
These thoughts indicate your journey through the Knot 2.

3. Morning Meditations: On some days it used to be calm but not peaceful. Felt some activity going on continuously. Sometimes felt Divine Light (Light without luminosity) is not stable but drifting. Soon after completion of meditation, on few days I felt a lot of relief getting into excellent peaceful condition. It, however, used to be quite absorbing. On some other days I used to be continuously attentive to the Divine Light (Light without luminosity) through out. Absorbency used to be high. After meditation on those days, there used to prevail devotional attitude sometimes it continues for a long time. On a few days thoughts relating recent events used to dominate. At times I used to be carried away by them for a short while. With some effort I used to return to Divine Light (Light without luminosity). Sometimes same type of thought used to recur. On other days, thoughts used to be few & insignificant. On very few days absorption used to be quite high leading to a stage of "unawareness" for a minute or so.
These are indications of your progress in the Pind desh. After commencing the yatra I think you have moved onto the 2nd knot.

4. Feeling of "otherness" has taken prominence. Sadhana has to be done for others and settling truly in values of sharing, service and sacrifice for others. Aspirational feeling towards this goal.
These are the stabilizing factors in the knots 1 and 2 and that is good.

5. Feelings predominantly on Surrender. This reflected through helplessness to move on my own towards this goal. The prayer felt in this regard. Better acceptance of all situations in life as coming from Him. Feeling absolute need of Being at His feet. Values of empathy, sympathy & compassion being reinforced through practical dealings with few people. Intense charge felt on head on certain days with feeling of coolness in the head. Dryness after few days no feeling of being happy or unhappy In morning meditations, feeling heart as the centre and whole body's periphery charged. Feeling of some power flowing towards heart when thought of Divine light is maintained steady. Reverrence and Love towards Master and feeling to ever remain at His feet.
These are genuine feelings in the travel through 3rd knot and there are glimpses of the fourth knot also. But since your is a summary I am not able to make any other statement. But please note that so long as the ‘other’ is there the stickiness of knot 1 has not left.

6. Here is what I can report from what I felt during the siting: Felt expansion in the chest. This expanded space was as containing the environment. A kind of "external inside" in which things were displayed as pins and needles or electric sensations. It was never ending.
True. I have taken up the work on the Brahmand centres and also was attending to the higher centres 11 and 12 because that is necessary to summarise the conditions in the Pind desh. Ofcourse there will be work in the points after the Para Brahmand. That I have to take up later. Therefore it is natural that there will be feelings of expansion in the chest region and also dynamism in the knots in the pind desh.

7. First thought/Feelings after Meditation: (a) Feeling of reverence towards Master after most of the meditations, (b) Feeling of Vairagya after some meditations (c) Feeling of compassion towards others (d) After some meditations remembrance of 2nd and 6th commandment was predominant. (e) In most of the occasions feeling of calmness and continue to sit for some more time. (f) General Condition: Feeling of compassion towards others. Whenever occasion comes or during discussion with colleagues/friends communicating message of Master and about system.
Over all I feel that you are trying to own up the conditions of knots I and 2. If you persevere in the path with care and diligence you should be able to own up the conditions of higher regions.

8. This month has been marked with crying during the meditation for no particular reason. It has happened at least six times. Sometimes there are voids and I don't remember what happens at that time. At other times, normal thoughts keep transiting whom I end up chasing for sometime and then come back to the heart.
It is good sign. It should be that the knot 3 is active for some reason or the other. Do not chase any thought good or bad; ignore them totally and it is not that difficult if you detach yourself from the thought.

9. Feelings during morning meditation: (a) Sir most of the meditations are oriented and predominantly felt closeness to Master with a feeling that I am sitting in the company of Master. (b) Sir, feeling of reverence towards Master and presence of Master were predominant in some meditations. (c) Sir, feeling of lightness and emptiness was there in some meditations. (d) Sir, in some meditations felt to serve others was predominant. (e) Sir, in some meditations felt that we are dependent on Master for everything. (f) Sir, in some meditations felt devotion towards Master. (g) Sir, in few meditations there was a feeling of vast emptiness with a feeling I am travelling in the vast space of emptiness.
These are all good but they donot reveal the actual states of consciousness. As a clue to you I may say that they will be related to the nature of the knots of Pind desh in different shades.

10. Last week near the beginning of the meditation, as I was observing the glow of Atman coming into view, I felt and saw a shift to the right side of my chest. Instead of the glow emanating from the left/center, it moved to the right. Subsequent morning meditations have been more "normal", but I decided to mention since it was out of pattern.
In the yogic system it is accepted that the Atman is located in the right side of the chest and that is the second knot about which Master has written. Congratulations. Now your Kasbi condition can be safely taken as knot 2.

11. Going forward I have decided to attend all training programs, first to learn and second to serve. This seems the least and the easiest means of service I can do. Trainer pointed there is no limit to sharing, sacrificing, however a plan helps to act & measure.
Philosophies are there but the will we have to develop. The first knot teaches the condition that nothing is ours and all is His and the consequences of that knowledge follow if that is real.

12. I have learned to trust nobody and experienced betrayal a lot, and each time through events of bigger importance and consequences. I still do not understand what is the correct attitude I should have, what is the lesson in this, if this is to push me to responsibility, if people show me a failure in my attitude that way (like being inattentive to them or unmindful of them). I am unable, though, to be untrustful (but maybe this is not trust but carelessness).
I think the problems are such though I do not know what your problems are. But for any situation the only attitude we can have is a trust in the universal law of JUSTICE. Trust is something that we should have on that principle or law of Justice. In spiritual life one is tested and burnt and hammered as much as an article or jewellery that is made from the precious metals. Be tolerant, be patient, have patience to develop patience, develop fortitude- I donot give you sermons. But these are required traits before one enters the realm of surrender (4th Knot).

13. Regularly felt some knots activated at the rear of the head. I felt benevolence coming from different people, some I know, some I don't. This awakened feelings of joy and gratitude. I was feeling a real brotherhood consisting in people who truly care one for the others, and I felt belonging to a family. It is the first time that I feel this so clearly, and I was naturally driven to give my prayers for them.
What more can I ask my Master than blessing all the human fraternity with the feelings you have got matured into? All His blessings.

More on Nature of Knots:

1. In the scheme of things in Nature it seems that the opposites exist side by side if not co-exist. The nature of first knot is discrimination and awareness of the ephemeral nature of things leading to Vairagya. The second knot relates to co-operation and co-existence. The third knot relates to aspiration while the fourth knot talks of surrender. Balancing these trends is the fifth knot and the sequence is the same in the higher regions. Surrender to the Divine (Master) alone is peace, happiness, balance etc.,

2. The knots beyond the Tip of the head do give out sensations as felt by the travelers in this path and they are not indications of any progress in such knots. They are only informing us of the connection we have to the Base. The activities in the knots 1, 2, and 3 I think are due to your spiritual condition only and I think you are now stabilizing yourself in these conditions. A very firm foundation in these knots is paramount for sustaining us in the higher regions.