BED TIME PRAYER
1. I did not do this.
I did not spend any time to think about this mistake
and its correction. I will spend much more time
in Bed Time Prayer. 2. I feel my bedtime
prayer is not effective, as I am not getting that
helpless attitude. Is it because my surrender
is not complete? 3. I am getting a feeling
in my bedtime prayer that I am volunteering for
Master's service. I think I am saying "Master,
Please use this servant in anyway useful" 4. Most of the times
I was doing my Bedtime prayer or say the 10th
commandment right after 9pm prayer and was going
to bed after 10/15mins or some times may be after
30/45mins because of Kids or some times due to
phone calls.etc. 5. If everything is based
on Karma, What should I pray to Master during
bedtime? Last time when I was at a gathering,
I saw a small child wearing thick lenses, I really
felt sorry for that. I thought I can pray to Master
for helping the child. But I am confused? 6. Sometimes waking up
between 2am and 3am as if I have been woken up.
In such cases I am trying to get lost in to the
prayer on the bed to wait for the morning meditation
time. 7. My sadhana/abhyas
took a little sine curve over the past months.
Due to my sloth (loss of viveka) and environmental
pull I missed some mornings so the feeling of
missing was very heavy on me. But there was this
strange connection I felt with the Master even
though I slipped in my abhyas some times. Something
like a child knows parents always love and he
loves them even though he commits mistakes sometimes;
there was this unshakable faith in bonding with
Him. I sought forgiveness for failing in my duty. 8. Can you please explain
me this message of the Master? 9. The distance between
current state and where I have to reach (Though
I don't think too much about it) appears very
insignificant in front of the task of improving
myself everyday. In moments of physical and mental
stress what comes out is still anger, irritation,
quick fault finding and finger pointing at others.
Well wishers also pointed out the display of ego
and lack of needed level of humility. Trying to
work towards it. 10. I must admit that
I should improve the quality of bed time prayer,
as the real (wholehearted begging for) forgiveness
is not felt most of the time. 11. In the month of September,
I am observing restlessness, which is different
from what I used to feel earlier. This ends up
in prayer, all the time. Only after the prayer,
it subsides. 12. There is a very good
improvement with regard to 10th commandment. But
I am not able to consistently get into the real
mode of repentance. On an average, I am able to
do prayer 2-3 days in a week in a most effective
manner but on other days though it is not routine
but not as effective as it should be. 13. There is an inner
feeling in the heart that I should live in the
consciousness of the Master and surrender to His
will rather than outward show. May I be granted
more and more supplicancy and humility towards
Masters? 14. During 2nd week of
the month I was feeling lot of repentance for
accumulating so much grossness and leaving the
homeland. Also there was lot of cry with it. 15. I have to improve
a lot in my craving and crying for the Master
from my heart in my bedtime prayer. I am able
to ask for the forgiveness for the wrongs done
by me either knowingly or unknowingly. Also I
am able to repent for the same. But still I have
to improve lot. 16. Doing Bed time prayer
regularly, but must improve on the quality. 17. During bedtime prayer
I am trying to recollect lapses and mistakes done
by me and putting in front of the Master. 18. I do it for 10 mins.
But I feel sometimes agitated when someone behaves
in an odd manner or have an indifferent talk.
This causes me anger. Sometimes I think to myself
whether I am not following the Prayer. Please
advice me on this. 19. The time spent for
Bedtime prayer is increasing and sometimes to
the point of exhaustion. 20. During Bedtime Prayers
sometimes there is a feeling of repentance. Sometimes
I feel calm and absorbed. 21. During Bedtime Prayer
Some times I felt depressed. Mostly felt calm
and felt absorbed into the prayer. I feel as if
entire Sadhana is in Prayer. Besides 9 p.m., prayer
I do Point A meditation before bedtime prayer. 22. Some days did bedtime
prayer with lot of devotion and submissiveness
but some days felt difficulty as mind wavering
is too much. More on Bedtime Prayer |