DESPERATE RESOLVE

The disturbed state of mind is more often due to the tyranny of one's own heart and to a brooding nature. A habit, once formed and strengthened by the force of will, is usually most difficult to overcome. Sometimes it gradually drifts man down to the lowest level of degradation. I again request you to try to extricate yourself from it by taking refuge in the lap of one who is ever ready to take you in His embrace. No doubt, on occasions, you do feel inwardly inclined to it but then there is one thing wanting still, and it is a firm and desperate resolve. That is not very difficult. If undertaken in the right way it is perhaps the easiest. Almost every one is eager for it in some way or the other. To speak of myself, I would say that I never felt concerned with it, though to an outer view it may have been a mistake on my part, but this was due to my peculiar nature. I ever remained a blind devotee of Him whom I took to be my everything, and never bothered about what might be right or wrong. Every thing was absorbed in my thought of Him and Him alone. As for the worship of gods and deities, I never stood in need of them nor do I even now. I wanted to secure my approach up to Him, and my end similar to His. Nothing else did I crave for. God had no doubt brought me into existence and had bestowed me with powers and means to go on properly with everything, as it is with everybody. But the very things, having been spoiled by our wrong handling, have become impediments and serve for a veil between the master and the servant. Now all our best efforts for the approach end in a mere tiny chink at the surface of the veil. Going beyond remains forever out of the question. Now who may he be who goes beyond this chink? For me at least it was none but my master. Whom should I therefore be indebted to, to God or to my master? To me the answer is quite clear, and I owe every thing to my master alone. How is this debt to be paid off? The only recourse open to me is to serve you all as best as I can. I sincerely wish you all complete emancipation. But where there is the rose the thorn is also there. A seeker of roses is never afraid of thorns. Mahatma Gandhi is said to have once remarked that the way to salvation lies through jail. I too had once expressed a similar view in a letter to my master, that the path of spirituality lies over stony ground and through thorny bushes. I had once been in such a state of extreme trouble and restlessness that I wrote to my master that if such had been the case with any man of worldly interests, he would have preferred to commit suicide. But due to the over-powering influence of my master all this seemed to be pleasant to me. I chose a life of poverty, and the idea of having nothing but salt and bread was very charming to me. It is a matter of pity for me that none perhaps has so far offered me a chance to impart such a state to him. In one case alone I had once tried to force it upon him, but I had not gone far with it when I was directed from above to stop it. If I impart such a type of training to my associates, I think the gentle-minded amongst them will quietly slip away from me, while the rash-tempered may perhaps be driven to open opposition. In my case I was so much absorbed in my own thoughts at the time that I felt delighted in partaking of the remnants of the dog's meal, not to speak of a person of low caste or untouchable who is after all a human being. It is however a different thing that I never did have a chance for it. In my heart I felt no difference between myself and the dog. This was my condition at the time when I was full with internal troubles. I owe it to my master for having trained me like that continuously for about twenty one years. It was only after that period that I began to feel relieved, and the peace that I now enjoy is far greater in proportion to the amount of trouble I had at the time.

Further, during that time I was under the watchful control of my father who, having smelt my inclination towards the Divine, feared lest I should some day give up the home and the world for the sake of forest dwelling. For this reason a strict check was imposed on me, and I was not even allowed to go up to my master. It was only about ten times or so that I could have a physical approach to Him in all my life. But I did not feel it much since I had no time to spare for brooding over these unnecessary things. It was all due to the sense of feelinglessness which got developed in me through the kind Grace of my master. This is in fact the wonder of ‘Man-worship'.*

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MASTER'S SUPPORT

World peace is the crying need of the day and those at the top are trying hard to bring it about. But the means adopted for the purpose do not so far seem to promise fruitful results. The efforts for the establishment of world peace do not seem to be very effective only for the reason that they are merely external, touching only the fringes of the problem. As a matter of fact world peace can never be possible unless we take into account the inner state of the individual mind. World peace is directly related with individual peace, for which the individual mind is to be brought up to the required level. If the individual mind is brought to a state of rest and peace, everything in the world will then appear to him in the same colour. It is, therefore, essential to find out means for developing within every individual a state of peace and contentment. Thus, all that we have to do for the attainment of world peace is to mould the mental tendencies of the people individually. That means the proper regulation of mind so as to introduce into it a state of moderation. That is the only way for bringing peace into the world. It is therefore essential for all of us to develop peace of mind within our individual self. But that being exclusively the scope of spirituality, one must necessarily resort to spiritual means for the purpose.

One of the greatest specialities of Hinduism, as pointed out by Swami Vivekananda, is that it offers means and methods of attainment of nobler ideals of life to people of every taste, mentality and talent. For this purpose, there is in it for some the worship of idols and images, for others that of gods and deities, for still others that of God with form or without form and so on. Further still for those of higher capabilities there are the paths of upasana, bhakti, jnana etc. For the attainment of still higher ideals there is again the path of Yoga classified under different heads including Hatha Yoga and Raja Yoga. As for the attainment of liberation or complete freedom almost all the great sages of the past and the present agree on the point that Raja Yoga alone is the path that ensures success up to the final point of human approach, and everyone dedicated to complete freedom must sooner or later come up to it. Sahaj Marg runs closely along the lines of Raja Yoga but with certain amendments and modifications to purge out superfluities from that system hitherto known by the name of the Raja Yoga.

Since proper regulation of mind is essential for the attainment of inner peace, it is necessary from the very first step to look to the proper moulding of the tendencies of the mind which usually remain disturbed by the effect of sense-craving in man. This, in fact, must be the basic object of every Sadhana undertaken for the purpose. No Sadhana is of any avail unless it guarantees moderation in the mental tendencies of the sadhaka. The mind, which in its primordial state was pure and regulated, has now been spoilt and polluted by the over-all influence of the senses. It is now to be corrected and set right, and for this the responsibility lies solely upon the individual himself. Almost all Sadhanas have basically the same purpose which remains neglected. Methods of austerity, penance and physical mortification usually applied for keeping the mind under control do not relieve it of its misdirected trend. They only serve to keep the evil subdued within, which might at any time burst forth when by chance the control is somehow relaxed. The real solution of the problem therefore lies not in controlling the mind by suppression, restraint or mortification, but in its gradual moulding which will relieve it of its misdirected trends.

Usually people initially aim at stopping even the normal working of the mind so as to create a state of coma or insensibility. The gurus of today also, in their eagerness to create an impression upon people, apply similar methods which as a matter of fact take us quite away from the range of spirituality. Their followers too, having lost their sense of discrimination, are incapable of judging it in its various shades and colours. They grow fond of colourfulness alone, and for their mechanical minds they require only a mechanic-guide to lead them on by mechanical means. The result is that they remain held up for ever within the charms of their mechanical output. But they alone are not to be blamed for it. Really they have got saturated with the stunning effect of the slow poison administered into them from platforms by the colourful preachers who pose as saintly and world-teachers of religion. The result is that they get addicted to different kinds of intoxication created by the use of certain drugs and ritualistic charms. The teachers also infuse into their followers the same intoxicating effect which, being suited to the taste of their senses, is greatly relished. Such is the condition of the teacher and also that of the taught — the one soaked in the feeling of self importance and pride, while the other is drowned in his desire for sense enjoyment, which they grossly misinterpret as a state of anandam. The sphere of spirituality in fact starts from beyond the range of the senses and, frankly speaking, I may say that a guru who has not transcended the limits of the senses is not at all a guru in the true sense. He can impart nothing but torpidity which, as a spiritual state, is horrible even to imagine.

At lower stages in Sahaj Marg one often does feel a sort of absorption, similar in a way to that of slight intoxication, but it is definitely different from the state of torpidity mentioned above. This condition may more appropriately be expressed as a blissful state of calmness, unstrained by the weighty effect of the senses which the abhyasi feels himself completely dissociated from. This may however be denoted as the soul-dance which is a high type of dance. When a dancer gets completely absorbed in the dance, it comes at par with the dance of Lord Krishna, which possessed the merit of driving the onlookers into a state of ecstasy. But this type of dance is now quite unknown and obsolete. The ancient books also do not make any reference to it in clear terms. The Tandava dance of Siva, though not exactly the same, was much akin to it, but it was of a grosser type.

Sadhana has two aspects, one the abhyas and the other the master's help. abhyas is meant only for creating inner conditions which will be helpful to the abhyasi in attracting the flow of the Divine grace, and this involves one's self-effort. But self-effort alone is not sufficient. It must be supplemented by the master's support. As a matter of fact what we really stand in need of for our ultimate purpose is only Divine grace. But owing to one's inner complexities, it is almost beyond the capacity of a sadhaka to have it by himself. For that reason master's help is indispensable. In earlier stages Divine grace flows into the abhyasi only through the medium of the master. As such it is often interpreted as master's grace. Whether it comes through the master's medium or direct it is the same Divine grace in both the cases. So long as the abhyasi is incapable of having it direct, it rests on the master to bless him with it. When he has developed the capacity to draw it direct, the master's job is practically over, though even then he has to keep a watchful eye on him for the sake of safeguard. This is in fact the real function of a true master.

Now the master's support being an essential feature of Sadhana, it becomes incumbent upon the abhyasi to seek a worthy guide to lead him on, helping him by his power transmitted through the yogic process of Pranahuti. This is the only effective means for bringing about the desired result. Under Sahaj Marg the Divine grace is directed towards the abhyasi through the process of Pranahuti. As a matter of fact what Pranahuti does for the spiritual uplift of the abhyasi in the shortest possible time, independent efforts cannot do even in a full decade. Serious difficulties often arise when meditation is practiced independently in accordance with the old methods prescribed in books. Under the old system of abhyas one has to keep on struggling with the mind in order to stop its unceasing activities. The struggle continues all the time without any success in the real sense. Thus practically there is no meditation at all, and all the time is lost in mere struggling and suppressing mental modifications. In order to overcome this very great difficulty, under the Sahaj Marg system we simply connect ourselves with the power of the master whose mind has become thoroughly disciplined and regulated. His power then begins to flow into the individual, regulating his mental tendencies. Pranahuti is therefore of primary value in giving the abhyasi surest success. Our tiring labour for ages and lives can be saved only when, by God's grace, we are able to get a master capable of helping us through Pranahuti. I therefore advise you in all earnestness to seek for such a one for your guide. They are however rare but definitely they are there, and a true seeker if he is really in earnest can never fail to trace one out.

I do not hereby mean to advocate in any way the orthodox idea of gurudom which to my view is nothing but mental slavery. In our system we have it in the form of common brotherhood with a spirit of mutual love, service and sacrifice which are the very essentials of the pursuit. We strongly condemn the idea of personal service demanded by gurus on the grounds that thereby the followers shall be developing pious samskaras in them. On the other hand we uphold the view that a teacher, acting in a spirit of service, should himself serve the disciple not only spiritually but also physically if the need arises.

The selection of the proper guide or guru is the next point to be taken into consideration. The guru’s job being the most significant and invaluable factor of spiritual life, it is absolutely necessary that due precaution be taken to select the right type of man for the guide. The slightest error in this matter may often prove highly disastrous. God alone is in fact the real guide or guru, and we all get light from Him alone. But only he who has cleaned his heart to that extent feels it coming therefrom, while a common man engrossed deeply in material complexities feels it not. He therefore stands in need of one of his fellow-beings of high calibre to help him in that direction. We may call him guide, guru, master or by whatever name we like, but he is after all a helper and a supporter, working in the spirit of service and sacrifice. His role is by far the most important, for it is he who, as a matter of fact, pulls the real seeker up and enlivens him with the light which is lying in him under layers of grossness. The light thus awakened begins first to cast its reflection upon outer Coverings and removes grossness and impurities therefrom. By and by it goes on developing, affecting the deeper layers also. The light can, however, be awakened by independent efforts as well, but that requires persistent labour for many years together. For this reason association with a worthy guide is of immense value to the abhyasi, since the master too, is duty bound, keeps on removing obstructions and impediments on the path.

If a guru comes out into the field as a master, puffed up with feelings of greatness and superiority, it is obvious that he has usurped the position of the real Master — God. As such it is quite definite that he cannot benefit others to the required extent. It is therefore essential for him to think of himself as a humble being, and act in the spirit of love and service. He must completely devote himself to the service of his fellow beings both individually and collectively. The service may be physical as well as spiritual. Spiritual service he must always be occupied with, physical service too he must ever be ready to perform if needed. He must be thoroughly devoid of feelings of greatness, self-importance and pride. He must not be a mere preacher of theories but a practical man who has traversed the entire distance up to the final limit of human approach and has completely merged in the state of Infinity. Such a man alone can be the fittest to act as guru or master to take the abhyasi along the path of spirituality. In that case the spiritual force keeps on radiating automatically all the time from him and affecting those around him. But such special beings are Nature's gift to the world. They come into the world only at Nature's will to work as a medium for Nature's work. Such a high soul is to be sought for if possible and available; otherwise one must get himself attached to the next highest personality available and accessible. By merging himself in his expansion, the abhyasi can acquire corresponding expansion for himself.

Every saint or yogi has his own expansion up to a limit, great or small. But when the seeker's thought is firmly fixed upon Divinity, Divine force thus enlivened in him brings about the greatest expansion. At lower levels the expansion is less. In our sanstha every abhyasi has his own limit of expansion which is in accordance with capacity developed by him. For establishing a direct connection with the Divine it is therefore absolutely essential for an abhyasi to connect himself with the greatest personality of the type in existence at the time. The attainment of a perfect Being is, in other words, the attainment of God, and the scriptures too support this view. If such a type of personality is not accessible at the time, then the only proper course would be to connect himself with one who is duly connected with the great personality, for, when the best is out of reach, the second best must be approached.

A master of the highest calibre is indispensable for another reason also. In our spiritual march we proceed from point to point, crossing from one point to another after covering the intervening spaces known as buffers. These intervening spaces are to be crossed in order to gain access to the next point. But while crossing them it is necessary to take a thorough tour through the entire space in order to complete its experience — bhoga. No further ascent can in any way be possible without it. Now if one tries to attempt it by mere self-effort he gets hopelessly involved in its intricacies and remains held up indefinitely within it. There may however be exceptions, but they are very very rare and that too only when one is specially gifted with an extraordinary calibre and is favoured with the Divine grace. Now the power that can take us safely along through all those intricacies can definitely be of one who has established an irrevocable connection with the Divine source. Is it not thus necessary to have him for the purpose? Definitely, yes. Whether you call him your master or your servant, he is after all your teacher and guide or, in the popular sense, a guru, no matter in whatever capacity you might take him.

The buffers or the intervening spaces between points are innumerable. They are all to be passed through during the course of our journey. With the help of a worthy master of calibre the process of bhoga is considerably reduced and the abhyasi’s stay at these places is much shortened, saving thereby a lot of time and energy. It may however seem somewhat strange and unnatural as to how bhoga gets ineffective in the presence of the guru’s support. The fact is that the condition of the place where the abhyasi is staying entraps him completely, forming a sort of network round him. Unless that is shattered the higher ascent is out of question. By mere self-effort one might at times advance a little, but only to slip down again. Practical observation goes to show that most of the sages so far have not been able to cross these buffers except perhaps only a few of the early ones. They remained lingering indefinitely in the one or the other without finding a way out. The simple reason for that could possibly have been lack of proper capability and calibre on the part of their guru to clear it for them by his own superior power. Those depending upon their self-effort alone remain held up at the very first or the second stage. How the necessity for bhoga does not arise when having the Master's support is not very difficult to understand. Really bhoga refers not only to the undergoing of the effects of past doings but also to the undoing of the effect of the net-work one has got entangled in. Only when that is torn off is the abhyasi able to go up to the next point, and that is possible only with the help of the Master.

The purpose for which I have taken up this point is to clear the wrong impression held by certain people that it is possible for one to conduct one's spiritual training by oneself. That may be possible only to a certain limited extent, and that too when one is gifted with special capabilities. Beyond that it is quite impossible and impracticable. The only solution can therefore be to seek the help of one of the fellow beings who is really capable.

The selection of a worthy guru is no doubt a very difficult job. On the basis of my personal experience I may give you an easy method of judging the worth. When you happen to come into contact with one, try to understand whether his association promotes in you a feeling of peace and calmness, and whether the restless tendencies of mind get silenced at least for the time being, without causing any weighty effect upon the mind. If it is so you must conclude that he can be a fit person to lead you on the path.

There is another difficulty as well. It is that even though such a master is available and accessible he is not usually trusted unless he displays some striking miracle. A Raja Yogi endowed with the power of transmission can no doubt display miracles, but he never likes to do so since that will be derogatory to his pious position. Moreover practical experience thoroughly proves that miracles are of no account at all, since they do not promote real faith in any way. We have the example of Christ before us, who displayed miracles all his life. But in spite of all that he got only twelve disciples amongst whom there was even one who subsequently contrived to bring about his crucifixion. That shows that his miracles were of no avail in promoting faith among people. It was in fact his noble teaching alone that afterwards secured for him such a large following. It is therefore better and in our best interest to have our eyes fixed upon Reality rather than upon miracles which are undoubtedly very petty affairs, and can be displayed by persons of inferior attainments and common talents. Miracle is no criterion for a saint or a yogi. It is, on the other hand, a deliberate fraud played by dexterous gurus upon the weak and credulous people to entrap them in their fold of gurudom. Before deciding about the final selection, one must be fully convinced of the man's capabilities and merits with regard to his practical attainments on the path. For this one must have continued association with him to judge things through perception and experience in a practical way. When one is thus convinced, one must then trust him in good faith and rely upon him firmly. This is very essential for a successful pursuit. By and by, faith, the most lively factor of a spiritual life, begins to develop in one, and the master's form becomes predominant in his view with his remembrance in the background. Master's remembrance is an important factor in overcoming the distraction of thoughts, and it is indispensable for easy success. When remembrance is there, the remembered must also be there close by. This leads the abhyasi to a plane where he feels himself knocking at the doors of the Beloved. When the Beloved is convinced that it is a devoted seeker knocking at the door He will Himself come to the door to take him in. In that way the limitations that bar our passage break off and we find access up to Him. But we can have full understanding of it only when we have experienced it in a practical way. At this stage one begins to imbibe godly attributes. That means we have then come into the sunshine which comes down from the main Source. We have thus come up to the Source. We are now in the ocean of Infinity and our swimming commences. Everything is now gone and remembrance, having been transformed into the subtlest state of surrender supplemented by silent craving and dormant restlessness, is now the only means left to us. The state is completely devoid of charm or taste, but there is a peculiar attraction in it to the extent that one would not like to part with it even for a moment. For myself I shall never be prepared to barter it even for my life. It is however the beginning of Reality where even purity, peace and bliss are extinct.

Now if one person gets absorbed in God and another in His material manifestation, what will each of them attain? The one, the Reality and the other the imitation. Can God be blamed for that? Certainly not. The Divine flow is the same in both the cases, but each of them partakes of it in accordance with his capacity and merit. I feel myself one with all my associates, being attached to the same common master, God, without the slightest idea of being high or low, great or small. As a matter of fact one in the human form, though considered to be big or great in respect of humanity, may be really the smallest. In fact his very smallness may itself constitute his greatness, though in his personal capacity he may be no more than a zero. The zero has its own importance, since when added to a number it raises its value ten times. This is what devotion may finally bring us up to.

My heart is offered as a playground for you all, never mind whether one uses it as a recreation ground for his amusement or as a dreary waste for him to wander madly in. Let him use it in any way he likes. It is free for every one to settle in, a place where one might see his own reflection, while another sees that of the Beloved. Uniformity is the characteristic of Nature and every one has his due share of it. God is known to be both samavarti and sama-darshi. A real master too must have his heart full with the feelings of uniformity, otherwise he is not worthy of the job at all.

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INDEBTEDNESS

I am greatly indebted to my gracious master who has so kindly put me on to swimming through the Infinite, which otherwise could have been possible only after death. And He is still pushing me on further through it. Not only this, he also bestows upon me all that he acquired himself during the course of his swimming through the Infinite ocean, for in every case the ascent continues infinitely.

LACK OF EARNESTNESS

None seems to bring forth the happy tidings of higher ascent by dint of self-effort. For the most part I have myself to do everything for them; to put them on the path; to inspire them with the grace; to clean their system; to push them along and fix them up on higher levels. What may all this be due to? It may be because of my excessive eagerness to see them all at the highest in the shortest possible time. Under the influence of this feeling I always feed them spiritually much beyond their capacity, even up to the limit of loss of appetite, with the result that further craving gets subsided for a time. But together with all that, the want of due interest and lack of earnestness on the part of the abhyasi cannot be denied.

**

You are always welcome to my humble cottage — a cottage which is so badly dilapidated that none perhaps would like to rest in it, even for a while, for fear of being drenched all over by the light shower from the Base leaking in all through.

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DEVOTION

Your view that you do not find any difference between the path and the goal is an indication of close attachment. It is certain that an abhyasi shall definitely attain perfection if he has devotion in him, and has by some good chance got a guide who is permanently settled in the Infinite, and keeps alive the remembrance of the home-land in the heart of the abhyasi. You are definitely under the guidance of such a one in the form of my great master, whose effulgence, if keenly observed, will be found spreading all through the world. If anyone ponders seriously over it he will find it full in every nook and corner. I shall however go on serving you with the wine of spirituality and at the same time developing your capacity for more and more. What else do you want of me?

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SRI AUROBINDO AND MAHARISHI RAMANA

You may by the way study the thoughts either of Shri Aurobindo or of Maharishi Ramana, but you must also go on with what you are after. I too had gone through mahayoga. The followers of the Maharishi are even today found to be badly entangled in, and controverting over, the view regarding the exact position of the heart in the human body, whether it is on the right or on the left. There is however no mystery about it. It will be quite clear if we take the whole structure of the physical heart into consideration. Maharishi insists upon enquiring, “Who am I?”. In my humble opinion it would be far better instead to try to forget `who I am'. The body-Consciousness and soul-consciousness must both necessarily go away, and this view is based on my personal experience. I have always been a free thinker, so I feel no hitch to express myself freely and frankly. I am always ready to welcome any one who may be able to take abhyasis farther on beyond the limit to which I mean to give them approach. When you have taken up one for your guru or guide on the Divine path, and at any subsequent stage discover his incapability to help you up to the final mark, decide for yourself of what avail he can be to you, except wasting your time and energy, and to remain ever deprived of the final approach. You engage a tutor for your child to coach him up in a certain subject but afterwards you discover that he is not so well up in the subject to serve the required purpose. What will you do then, except to replace him by another, better suited for the job? The same should be the procedure in this case also.

**

OWNING OF CONDITION

Throughout my spiritual life I could never even for a moment imagine that the vast spiritual treasure possessed by my master was not mine in any sense, exactly like a child who always thinks of his father's wealth to be his own. I do possess it in the fullest degree, and at the same time I am never miserly in bestowing it upon others associated with me. But the difficulty arises when one does not try to own it for himself. Truly, why should one at all be after it when he finds me already reduced to destitution on this account? A seeker shall always go to the place where he finds spirituality in abundance, whereas I, being now totally devoid of it, have become totally unsuited to their purpose. What else then is there in me that might attract others towards me? It may perhaps be my love for them, but that too is untraceable, since all its hues and colours have got merged into one, losing all distinctions. Again it may be their faith, perhaps, which might offer them a clue to it in the core of my heart. It is obvious that the Consciousness of existence brings to mind the idea of God. But what may be the solution when the very existence has been reduced to non-entity? One reduced to that state of being can be taken into Consciousness only by him who is the real lover and a true seeker of non-entity. In that case he shall go on giving up everything to make his own self quite void and empty. The climax of non-entity is the ultimate state, which is termed as Bhuma. But since it is not possible to take into account that Beingless state, distinctions of attributes are introduced into it. Man being by nature inclined towards materiality, brings Him down to a level similar to his own. They also say that one can love another of his own species only. Now the guru being one of his own species is considered as the personification of God. Consequently he becomes the object of his thought related with the Absolute Reality. But though the rays of the sun fall uniformly at all places, still the different parts take in different effects in accordance with their nature and capacity. Thus one must assume for himself the position of the equator so as to receive the direct rays of the sun. He must also be pure and clean to retain that effect in himself.

**

FOLLOWING THE MASTER

It is said that a true disciple must try to imitate his master. But at the same time they say that a disciple must follow what his master commands him to do, and not what he actually does himself. The question arises, how are the two directives to be reconciled? A real master is known to be the possessor of super-normal virtues, related with his outer self as well as with his inner self. If the abhyasi imitates those virtues he himself gets transformed accordingly. It is in this respect that the abhyasi is advised to imitate the master. The second directive is also quite to the point. It directs the abhyasi to follow the master's commands and not his actions. It is but definite that the master's command will always be in the best interest of the abhyasi and so it is but proper to follow it without question. Now the latter part of it seems to be a bit confusing though in fact it is not so. The reason is that in certain exceptional cases the master has to take up work for which he might have to go against common rules of discipline. For example I was once commanded to go through a lane inhabited by prostitutes. I had to pass through the lane looking with attention upon almost every house. Now if any one had witnessed me in that position, what a bad opinion he would have formed of me? There were several other occasions of the kind and it is often the case with others too. But that does not mean that any of them could have thereby fallen into degradation. I wish to see you all going by the path which is free from pollution and defilement, whereas my path, as luck would have it, lies through dirt and filth, where one would easily develop nausea had there not been the supreme Divine force to protect him all through. Such is my world, where I am to be, so sadly lacking in peace, though on the other hand I wish you all to abide in peace. This is in short what I have in store for myself — going about with a rent-up heart, looking only at filthy drains and ditches. I am so much engrossed in this state that it is hard for me to get out. In other words, it has become the primary object of my life. My master, once commenting upon my condition had remarked that the higher a man goes, the greater shall be the lowness in his view. But after all this is the greatest boon, rarely bestowed upon man even in the course of ages.

**

DUTY

People must get awakened to the sense of duty. I undertake to attend to my part of the duty while they should look to their own. But the practice must be supplemented with the feelings of love and devotion. On my part, I am ever overdesirous to give you all the greatest by way of spiritual lift and in the minimum possible time. If you advance even one step onwards, I am over- zealous to advance four steps towards you.

**

THE IDEAL AND SHORTCOMINGS

As the world is transient everyone has to depart sooner or later, but some go without any load and some go with load. Most of the people depart leaving wealth behind; and because of this alone their memory remains fresh in the minds of their heirs. But the earning of the spiritually perfect man is something else. Unpossessed, he goes possessed. I mean by unpossessed that the search of the possessed by becoming unpossessed is the search of the One by becoming alone. He has no concern with comforts, luxuries, successes and pleasures of the world. He is liberated from its bondage in his life time itself. And by possessed what I mean is that he takes along with him bread for the way, that is, the real essence of his spiritual earnings. He leaves his spiritual earnings to his spiritual inheritors just like the householder; and each receives the quantity in proportion to his capacity, while the remaining is swallowed by the descendent. And this reaches to initiated members only, because legally the spiritual offspring alone deserve it. Some part, of course, reaches those also who have attained ‘laya-avastha', and this is right too. In spirituality the share goes to the really deserving, and that is why I have repeatedly written exhorting abhyasis to become deserving of that thing; and for that two things are required: Love and Obedience. And both these things are interdependent.

Of course, it is true that initiation is an essential thing and there is no go without this. This is necessarily helpful in attaining really high approaches. It is a different thing if anybody creates in himself the conditions of high approaches. Even then he remains deprived of the Great Gift. The person who does initiation becomes as compelled after the initiation as the father to his sons. However naughty the son may be, still the father claims him as his own son and his parentage remains the same. Yes! In spirituality some such thing is also produced in special cases where the teacher can cut off any of his spiritual descendants. But this is done in very exceptional cases, and only the Guru can decide about it. The principle of initiation is that initiation can be done only when the faith of the aspirant is matured, and when he is going deep enough in love.

Now, hear about our gathering. Some gentleman does puja for the sake of courtesy, and another sits for it for the sake of formality. Well, thank God, there is at least this much. Some gentleman has got the habit of sitting for puja once in a while, and wishes that I myself should form this habit in him. Well, so much for the better. Possible someone or other may even enter the sphere of blasphemy by remembering me instead of God in times of difficulties and hardship. None seems to possess the real interest. Even if there are such, they can be counted on one's fingers; they have got neither longing nor craving. Once my master Lalaji had written to some gentleman, “I require lions, not sheep”. And he orally told some gentleman, “I have admitted even sheep in my Satsangh for courtesy's sake”. This was his experience. Remembering this, no complaint against anybody remains. It appears that it is my fault alone. But then, everyone has to be looked after. I thought of methods. It is a matter of gratification to me to think of receiving some light, or of receiving it in future, which at least is better than nothing. Some work or other at least would have been done. Anyway, our intention is right. You can imagine the conditions of my heart by the following instance. Yesterday, when I was returning from the office I saw that a monkey was lying on the roadside breathing its last due to some injury. I was moved very much. I could do nothing. I stood there for a minute and transmitted so that its condition may become better in future. I did not like to do more than this.

Again and again the thought comes to me that I had written the last letter very strongly. But I was compelled to do so. I thought that if there was no hardness in the tongue there was the hardness in the pen, because it has got steel and wood also. And so, possibly, you may show the flow in Divine love by becoming harsh upon yourself due to this hardness. Probably this hardness may bring out some good result, although it is a fact that unless there is the will of God, He does not attract the servant towards Himself, and it is impossible to have His vision. Now, the question arises, why should He trouble Himself to attract the servant towards Himself? Because, if there is any motive in the Lord, then I think He too is just like a householder like ourselves. But along with this it is also a fact that when our motive is to join Him, then we adopt such methods only and this alone is called abhyas (Practice). When the intense desire to join Him is created, some kind of impulse begins to be produced in Him. But then, brother, who is it that has to create this thing? Who has got the leisure? We have fallen in our own mire and are taking pleasure in that alone. Even the pain here is pleasure. It does not mean that we have become saints.

To speak in general, everyone is mad after his own thought. I have called pain as pleasure because people tolerate any kind of misery, but we never like to step out of our own, because the moment we step out of the kitchen the kitchen gets contaminated. One step is inside the kitchen and the other outside. We do not even think of taking both the steps outside the kitchen so that we may step outside, and also the kitchen may remain quite uncontaminated.

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PROGRESS ON THE PATH OF SPIRITUALITY

I

A man just enters the spiritual life. Call him as A. How does he enter? He enters by hearing about the supremacy of a certain personality. A finds B as a greater personality who can weave his destiny. He now begins to love B. After some time his love becomes greater and greater. That means he holds B as a supernatural being. When he improves in love, he hatches an idea in his brain holding that personality in much veneration. When this is the case, A treats B as God and forms, on account of intense love, his image in his own heart. He does not want to be away from the thought for even a moment. He craves the great personality in his heart. In other words, he keeps his ideal safe in his bosom. What torments him much is B's funny play just as a child when it grows old, hides himself under the clothes of his mother and tells her to seek him. Suppose the child's mother has no covering? Where then will the child hide himself? A is meditating on B and the cover comes in itself and the image seems hidden. Where does this covering come from? It is the veil of his own thought which has kept him aloof from his great Master — the Almighty.

Suppose he does not see his master, under the covering, he must not feel vexed. Why so? Because his master named B is within this covering, and in him in some form or other. Suppose he does not see his master within his form he must not be perplexed. Broadly speaking, he is everywhere, but since he cannot see his presence every where, he made him limited in his own form for the sake of concentration. If he thinks his master is seated within, that completes the idea of his presence. That means he has got the idea of his master rooted deep in his heart. Very ridiculous it is, he seeks his master where he has given him his place. Suppose he prays to his master to be seated on the plank of his heart, and if his prayer is heard and answered in words spoken by his master at his call, “I change but I cannot die!”, the idea will be totally correct so to say. The idea should remain as it is. Form may be changed, it matters little.

Now the disciple is satisfied. He contemplates his master, and the idea of His presence remains in his heart. I think it is sufficient. There is one philosophy underlying it. When we put a bird into the cage for the first time it begins to flap its wings because it is not used to the cage. You put the unlimited one into the cage of your heart. When the unlimited one is compared to a bird for your understanding, it begins to fly with you, and then you begin to seek its image which is only seen as long as its flight has not begun. You both fly together to have the cage and you become one with Him. When this is the case, I mean when your flying has commenced, then fly with all you have got with you.

II

If ‘A' begins his work dedicating all to his master, imagine what good will it be, in the long run? He does everything for his master. Nay! he does everything thinking that his master is himself doing it, and must think because both are flying together. ‘A', really speaking, gave life to his supposition and the object became animate. Both have got lives now. He starts his work from the same morning. He performs his daily ablution thinking that his master is doing all this. He breaks his fast thinking that his master is doing it. He goes to the office and does the office business thinking that his master is doing the same or, in other words, he himself is doing it. Now he returns from the office. On the way he finds an attractive dance and his eyes go to the form already playing its part. What do you think then if you cannot check yourself? Think that it is not you who is seeing the dance but your master's eyes — the eyes you have got — are witnessing the scene. What good would it do? You will lose the curiosity of seeing the dance at once, because your master's power will begin to flow at once and you will be relieved of the curiosity just awakened. Now you come to the house finishing your office business. You see your children quite joyful at seeing you as you have returned after so many hours from the office. You enjoy their merriment and it is, of course, but natural. What would you do then? Your attention is diverted towards them and you are a bit away from your sacred thought for the time being. The method would be complete if you think that your master within is himself enjoying. You will find that its effect is no more and you are away from your own thoughts. Now another business comes. Friends come in. They chit chat. You also drop into conversation with them and that is the daily routine. Think that not you but your master is talking with them. That is the best practice, I tell you. Similarly you can adjust yourself in your daily routine and in all the work before you. If you are walking you can, of course, think of your master at that time, but how good it would be if you do both the things together. You are thinking of your master and at the same time also having the idea that your master himself is walking. If you do it that means you are going with double force. Likewise, while you are meditating think that your master is himself meditating on his own form.

If you cultivate this habit what effect would there be on you in the long run? You will not make samskaras any further. That means that the progressive trend to create things for future bhoga is now stopped. That is the way to salvation. But our ideal is something higher than that. We want to release ourselves from the endless circle of rebirth which comes after. This method ultimately will lead you to non-entity. Do this and feel its effect. Very shortly it will come.

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SELF DISSOLUTION

Self-dissolution is the only way for securing complete success. One must go on persistently with it. Love and devotion are of course the essential features thereof. One, having dissolved one's own self, embarks upon an eternal existence, the real life worth having and the very object of life. This is attainable more easily during the life time of the master because his power remains aflow all the time during his life. After that, as they say, “It is not the calibre of every moth to burn itself in a dead flame.” (sokhtan bar shamaa kushta, are har parvana nesta).

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TRANSFORMATION - DIFFICULTIES

No doubt I try to transform everybody who comes to me to whatever extent it may be possible at the time, for I think it to be my duty. But then something rests on the person as well. It is for him to let the transformation work its way. Where this is lacking, the man, though he may at the time be induced to follow the practice, will definitely break off after some time.

My difficulties are manifold. I have to take everything upon myself, i.e. to discuss and convince; to create craving and constancy; to mould and transform; and finally to keep him firm upon the path. But I do not grudge it provided full co-operation is forthcoming from the other side. It is however a matter of pity that in certain cases even co-operation is wanting. All that they seek for is the external or material. Our system is meant exclusively for the attainment of Liberation and beyond, hence, far away from baser ideals I impart the same to every one even from my first contact. But this takes time to mature into fullness if he is eager for it. Those coming to me without real craving lack patience to wait for the transformation to take deeper roots and gradually work out its results. I am at a loss to understand what to do in such cases, unless I induce myself to force everything into them. But that may be a risky process.

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DEBT OF THE MASTER

Really speaking everyone has to repay three debts. You are, however, repaying these debts. Brother, I would like to substitute the words ‘debt of the master' for ‘debt of the Rishis' (Rishi-Rina). I want to repay this debt, and it would be possible only when I can prepare a person just as my master has prepared me. But the repayment of even that is really in the hands of my master alone.

REAL SEEKER

I give only the real heera (diamond) which can be tested only by a jeweller. If a dealer in glass cannot know the diamond's value, it is not the fault of the diamond. There is a Persian verse which says: "If a bat cannot see the Sun in the day time, it is not due to any fault of the Sun". If many others are benefited by the same thing, and one particular person is not benefited, it is due to his own fault. If anybody comes to you as a disciple and seeker, he shall never remain unbenefited.

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MASTERS CONDITION

Dear brother, you are asking wages of me. I consider you yourself to be the master. Hence it is a surprise that the master should ask wages of his servant for the work done by him. Shall I write something more? But I am afraid one may think that I am showing the mastery. But, dear brother, to whom shall I show my mastery when there is no disciple, nor my God? By the grace of God I am almost always in the state of Negation where there is neither myself nor my God. I am afraid people may call me an atheist. I have already broken away the atheism and this is due to the blessings of my master.

A poet has said: “No worship is devoid of Kufr (lack of real faith), whether one worships the idol or takes the name of Allah (God)”. And dear brother, what an essence there is in saltless stone, this condition of Negation, that you never wish to be separated from it! So much so, that according to the method of training, one has to come down from this state while transmitting, but I can not do it. This is the reason why no other emotion than peace and calmness is created in the abhyasi to generate in him faith in the principles of the mission. But it has happened that if I even enter upon my previous condition for a moment, I would feel the reflection of that state. I remember that I had once written to some one, “Dear brother, you have given me the spiritual training, and due to yourself alone I have progressed in spirituality”. And this feeling was quite correct. When I come upon such a condition, I feel that you appear like the Guru. Nay, you are the Guru himself, and naturally the acknowledgement comes that you people alone have given me the training. I wish that my associates should tell me their mistakes and foolishness, whatever you may call them. But when I expect this from others, first of all I should place my own foolishness before them. At one time Pundit X, who was proud of his knowledge and learning began to think me defeated in the field of knowledge. I considered that it was not good for him to nurture this pride. Therefore I took a turn and came upon a previous condition of mine. And then I wrote to him. You will laugh to know what I had written. I had written, “It was I alone who had sent Rama and Krishna into this world! It was I alone who had brought the revelation of srutis to the Rishis”. Now you must have understood why you find yourself often in darkness!

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REALITY AND NEGATION

Shri X had sent me a telegram to Tirupati to do transformation, which I received at Allahabad. I am sorry that I could not do his transformation by telegram. But it definitely indicates his restlessness to attain God in the path of spirituality, which is good. I have now replied to it two days back, and by writing some logic in it I have shown candle light to the Sun. But, brother, he is a very good man and he has started to love also. But dear brother, what shall I do? There is no juice remaining in the bones of this humble being. Possibly people may not like me due to this. Now, should I start looking at my own face in the mirror, so that I may be pleased by seeing myself? But I am afraid that if I do it, I may find my own image nonexistent therein, although I am sure that something existent may be found even in non-existence. yes, this is really certain, because Reality is found only in negation.

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DEPENDENCY

As for myself, I have always been a dependent of my master, and I would accept subordination to that person under whose subordination my master orders me to remain. Through this dependency alone I have been able to develop such will power, which is but my master's gift, that I can prepare thousands of persons for spiritual training within a second.

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