1. During the meditation, I have ignored thoughts successfully but when not meditating, I did not do that many times. When I sit for meditation I am feeling calm, light, one with god, but when I don’t meditate I am failing to remember that oneness with god many times. Whenever negative thoughts occur, there is an immediate thought that I cannot entertain them as a follower of Master, but I keep paying attention to them for no reason.
A mind that was accustomed to a particular way of thinking cannot be changed that easily what to say of habits and reflex actions. That is why our efforts in this direction is called sadhana.

2. I'm regular in my sadhana, but I could do better in establishing a fixed time for meditation. I rise before dawn, but have a pattern of drinking coffee before bathing and prayer, which delays my prayer to be later than it should.
My self and my wife were also like that in yester years. Now first we attend to prayer and then other things follow. It is all sadhana and it means it takes time for the thought to percolate into the grosser levels of actions. Have faith in yourself and you will achieve the goal.

3. A few days felt thoughts beyond mundane & self. Aspiration for greater faith in the Master, of wanting to be close to him.
Sadhana done without expectations will bring all these at the appropriate time.

4. I have been regular to all satsanghs and individual sittings, but I have not been very regular in my Sadhana. Many times I felt guilty and did not send the report. I realize the importance of this and will make every sincere effort to send the report regularly.
Whether you send the reports to me or not your doing sadhana with earnestness is more important. Guilt should naturally lead to repentance and that to a good prayer to Master.

5. There is a constant restlessness to grow on the path. There is a mix of calmness and helplessness.
Growth is possible only when nurturing is there and growth is not had for just wishing. Do your sadhana as you should and the results automatically follow.

6. At one point I feel I want to do everything to improve my sadhana, my spirits are so high, I just want to improve my sadhana, I just don’t see anything else so important. Some of times I feel like it just got routine and looks like I am satisfied with what I am doing. This feeling keeps changing often like up and down.
A steep climb always is not that easy and God provides several plateaus on the path. When we climb we think we are progressing and when we move in the flat land we think we are not. But the truth is once a person is introduced into the Masters system there will always be improvement and the scenario changes very constantly even as in any travel.

7. I would like to be regular in my sadhana and in taking sittings. But unless I do the sadhana sincerely I am hesitant to meet you and unless I take Your Kind help I might not become serious in sadhana. I am finding it difficult to break this circle.
Apart from the reasons given by you, the reason for not making a firm decision to move further and farther in the path is only the effect of Bhog (in modern technology in education- Plateau) and that you will not be able to get over unless you gird up your loins- getting rid of pseudo intellectual explanations for lapses. I have nothing against you. I was however annoyed that you were not reporting as to the discharge of duties towards the Master and spreading of His message. It is one thing to look at our progress; it is another to discharge our commitments towards Master.

8. General Condition in the day: I have uniform condition throughout the day. The workload was heavy and I had to manage a big project at work. I could observe the balanced condition in me. I remember how unbalanced I used to be under such circumstances before joining the system. I used to make many mistakes in work as well as in dealing with others at work. I thank Rev Master for giving me this balanced condition. During this period, when I meditated, thought related to work was very less.
Please do not use wrong words. We are grateful to the Master and that is about it; thanking is a word of the lower order plane.

9. But with respect to the orientation to the Master, I acutely feel the need to improve my inner condition with a deep urge to feel the Oneness with Master’s consciousness. Master is now perceived as consciousness rather than person. There is lot of inner restlesslessness and I understand that without the blessings and support of the Master it is impossible to improve further.
Support of the Master is always there it is only our grace to His work that is lacking.

10. With a sincere prayer, I place before you all blemishes in character and seek your kind blessings for overcoming them.
My blessings are there. I add Masters blessings are also there. But you seem to lacking your own blessings.

11. During and after sathsang or sitting I usually feel presence of Master. But I can't stay in that state (condition) a long time. So day after day meditations are less deep with more and more thought untill next satsangh. The consequence is I am not in the constant remembrance in all my daily activities. I observe two main causes: at first, I adopt the condition of every place where I go and of every body I meet. When I become aware of what happen I dont know how to come back to His presence (to a good condition). The second reason is I suddenly forget Master, and I think to myself (my problem, my solution, my emotion etc). In that two cases I loose the condition of the meditation and I can’t find it anymore alone. I always need help of my trainer. Do I have to do (think, feel) something more than the sadhana to be more oriented to Master in my daily life?
These are all problems of sadhana and were explained in our books. Briefly to expect to be aware of the presence of Master all the time is not proper. We have many things to do and therefore we can only be discharging our duties as a matter of service to the Master. In that way we can be in the thought of the Master. It is necessary that we should develop an attitude of being in the company of persons who think of the divine. When we are not in such a company we must cultivate the habit of trying to see the Master in all: this will be possible only when we do not judge others and other things. It is but natural that we are aware of our feelings and emotions and problems but we should think all of them as by-products of our thought and action discharged in the attitude of service to the divine.

12. We moved to a new place. From then on most of the times I feel my sadhana is ritualistic.
Hope the new place is comfortable and you are happy. I donot understand when persons use the word ritualistic. Routine is a must and there is need to take the spirit of meditation and other process in our sadhana. There are no ritual in our system. We need to meditate thinking of the Divine light which is non luminous. How can then meditation become ritualistic?

13. Before sending this summary, recently there was some tension in the family. These were the attitudes I observed. Why can’t life be simple and peaceful? Why do people make it complicated and suffer with complicated thinking? When my behavioral attitudes were questioned, though my ego was hurt, in a way I felt this will help me learn. I did not feel this tension as a misery nor as a wrong doing. My only thought was why such a complicated thinking?
That is the crux of sadhana and how the Manomaya and Vijnanamaya kosas affect us and the tyranny of such thinking is very personal. Having faith in the method practice cleaning process and you may not suffer much.

14. In the month ahead my goals are 1) Being prayerful day long 2) Feel greater dependency. 3) Taking time daily to contemplate & read.
It should be doing your meditations and cleanings and offer the prayer at prescribed hours. One moves step by step and leaping is easy for frogs but that is not the way of sadhana.

15. Sadhana & Day to day life: In general I feel settled, more natural in my interactions with others.However there are times I felt awkward, feeling separate from another. These are times I feel a bit disappointed for being unable to imbibe the Master more.
If we can follow what He said it is good enough; imbibing is a big word.

16. Sadhana & Day to day life: Sometimes I feel the curiosity to read others but often I find others either seeking like me, repeating the Master's words or outright unacceptable.
Curiosity to read others? Why? How does it help you? You seem to be judging others and this is a bad habit and totally unspiritual. Please avoid this type of thinking in the interest of your sadhana.

17. Sleep has been perturbed almost every night in May and June by a dark force attacking at night. It was scary; my body was frightened and reacting to that force by waking up when it was arriving and by causing resistance to go to sleep. At the conscious level, I was not scared, just concerned and willing to understand what was going on as well as to find a solution. This dark force appeared to me as a conscious being like an animal taking energy from me every night. It stopped all a sudden as it started.
When a Salik or traveler is on the path some forces tend to attack them and to frighten them so that they may leave the path. This is a usual phenomena felt by many sensitive persons. My own experience which I may recall though it is something that happened many decades ago is: there is pressure on the chest region, darkness which is unusual seem to engulf the entire being causing a sense of apprehension. It was natural for me to remember the Master though no help was sought. The experience itself made me to get up and see whether there is any person or being around and finding none I used to resort to my prayer and meditation. The prayer is the usual prayer given to us by the Master. When I narrated these facts to Master he asked me whether my hands were on my stomach or chest at that time to which I said neither. He told me some times the physical posture gives such experiences and also told that there are forces which try to hinder spiritual progress in general. He said we should have the courage to move forward and ignore these events.

18. Day to day: (a) After Basant for 10 days, felt closeness of Master and feeling of gratitude. At the same time, felt distance. There was a pining feeling, leading to periods of restlessness. (b) There is more goal clarity and determination to not let other things bother too much. More balance. (c) More faith in Master and self.
As the saying goes little drops of water makes a mighty ocean. It is by fraction of inches that we grow and never by feet.

19. But the pain at times still comes back. I tried to think this is the way to undergo some samskaras. But when I was going through the past two months diary and the imperiences now, I felt I was lost and know where to start again.
Not clear to me. We are not lost at any time in the path as our connection to the Master is very strong and your experiences confirm that. There is no question of starting again- you have been moving steadily and this shall continue in the remembrance of the Master.

20. Sometimes I seem to be saying 'where art thou Master' and seem to hear 'where art thou brother'.
That is really good; the inner conscience has started expressing itself. Coupled with the crying that you have it only shows your nearness to the Master.

21. Some difficulties faced in day to day activities and with attitudes.
This is the problem of Ego. What are the great attitudes that are in conflict in home atmosphere? Most of them border on silliness.

22. I had a repeated thought connected with a relative for some days during meditation and at times during day. Though it’s very trivial, since the remarks were made by an abhyasi with out any truth, it was tough to accept/ignore.
If it is easy we will not call that sadhana. As you the remarks were made by an abhyasis take it as a blessing of the Master in which case acceptance or rejection are not the choices.

23. I have been contemplating as to how my condition has become somewhat heavy in the recent past. The following is the daily pattern and routine of my Life. (a) On completion of the construction of additional accommodation, I have now totally returned to my normal living state. (b) Mentally, I have again started visualization of complex issues affecting our National Security and our Vital Interests and seeking some solutions as can be discerned by me. This is taking much of my leisure and spare time. (c) I have been requested to take upon the responsibilities of our Large Society and this involves involvement in many mundane issues, taking its own toll. (d) Financial Management consequent to the completion of the Construction and other issues like purchase of car by my son. These have now been fully settled and there is no mental engagement on these at all. This must have had impact on my spiritual health and would have injected certain amount grossness. I can feel it now. While deeply expressing my gratitude for your spiritual diagnosis of my problem, I will now start more dynamic sadhana so that these temporary impediments shall be overcome and my Condition is restored to its original state.
It is obvious that you know why are in the present condition. It is easy to land into muck and cleaning is not all that simple or easy particularly when the mind is attached to the things sought to be cleaned. I have hinted in many places and wrote more clearly in some places in the various articles I wrote about the slippery path we have in the higher realms. To know reality is relatively simple but to hold it requires perseverance, persistence and determination. It is then the issue of priorities arise in more serious dimensions than we imagined earlier in sadhana. Commandment 4 is very clear in that it asks us to reduce activities. But that is not all that simple; it requires a determination to be a Cipher or Zero. Nothingness is neither an illusion nor an object to hold. Cleaning process is the toughest part of sadhana; giving sittings to aspirants at that time does not absolve our responsibility to attend to our task. Prayer is a state of being and not a time oriented routine. Once we seek to establish in that state all other duties and responsibilities to ourselves, family, larger family, mother land etc., become secondary. When we seek Brahmand where is the place for Pinda or Anda?

24. General Condition: Feeling to pass the message of Master and communicate about system.
Feeling is alright but what is the real work done in the spread of the message. If you speak no one accepts but if you practice some may get attracted.

25. Sometimes I am continuing with B Point meditation for longer time than required and couple of times I do not even remember whether I have offered the Prayer properly. Sometimes, the sensuous thoughts are coming and going immediately, just like a flash, especially before sitting for my meditation or satsangs. Sir, I have gone through the clarifications given by you in various articles, especially in Three Truths -Trillion Doubts on Point B and Point A meditations and I feel my attempts in focussing on the work which is required at that point, i.e., Point B&A meditations, are failing.
Your mail which has no mention whatsoever of the Basant. That shows your orientation. It is very hard to control a bull. It is tougher when you deal with disciplined mind. The methods are the best ever given to humanity. You should practice in the way prescribed and learn. There is nothing that I can do about this. I wish you all the best in your endeavour to control yourself.

26. After Kailas Manasarovar Yatra, it took some time to bring my meditation practices to normal routine. During yatra, practices were disturbed as there was no fixed schedule. Although I remembered Master most of the time during KM Yatra, I felt that I missed my regular practices thereby hurting my condition. I humbly request you to forgive me for my pitfalls.
I never wanted to discourage you from sticking to odd religious and pseudo religious notions. You must have by now known the futility of such acts. I shall attend to you as desired but I think it will be necessary for you to cleanse yourself more before you can actually be attentive to the Pranahuti.

27. I have analysed critically regarding the inertia that developed in sadhana which I humbly put forward to your kind self. Due to the pre occupation with house construction activity, my daily schedule of prayer and also with regard to office activities, the set routine got disturbed thereby I became irregular with respect to some aspects of sadhana. My involvement in these activities has affected my focus on the sadhana which I realize now but I was helpless as I had to finish the task in hand. But for your kindness and blessings alone that we could pass through the activities without getting effected too much.
This is not a correct assessment. People have been constructing temples and ashrams including our Master and my humble self. Never I found necessity to miss any of the practices and that is because of the priorities I fixed for myself. Meditation, cleaning and prayer can never be missed by one who has fixed the goal and restless to reach that.

28. I beg your pardon, that during my short visit, I will not be able to visit Hyderabad.
Physical proximity has never been an index of intimacy.

29. Some blasting anger is still rising from time to time, but more rarely than it used to be: I am getting old and tired.
Other words for old and tired are mature and seasoned. Blasting anger or rage is usual in all sensitive persons. The question would be was it justified or not? If there is no anger and passion in life there will be no life at all.

30. Whenever I remember Him consciously during the day, I feel a flow in Chit.
That is not correct understanding of the nature of chit lake. All our thoughts are there in seed form. Read and understand more about its nature and then know your origin of thoughts.

31. The yearning to grow fast in the system is ofcourse there, but I wonder whether I am resorting to fast track by posing this query.
Your question is based on simple Greed. Brahma Vidya has been made simple and easy for the first time by the Master and your desire to have quicker progress is not in any way justified.

32. Difficulties in sadhna: Complacency, Laziness, poor posture, lot of day to day thoughts, tendency to hold on to money leading to miserliness, Delaying day to day work.
If you are determined to get rid off these lazy habits and delusions then you can get rid off them. They are not problems in sadhana; they are your lazy habits and other afflictions. Please do decide your goals and then you will have courage to tackle these attitudes and habits.

33. Others (in monthly report): (a) There is more and more helplessness and inner cry to become free but not able to come out of it as have many bindings. (b) Feeling that Master is always helping and His grace and guidance is there always helping to come out. (c) Sometimes not able to say No. Trying not to get involved in unnecessary things or matters, reducing gossips. (d) Mostly feeling balanced and happy as well as more free and natural in dealing with others. (e) Sometimes feels that don't have control over self and end up wasting time watching TV or indulging in unnecessary activities.
When helping hand is there, there is no point in crying 'help', 'help' without holding that hand.You seem to be crying within for more entertainment and enjoyment stating that you are desperate to become free from them. There is little goal clarity in such thinking. There is no support for sloth and indolence. Everyone gets what he deserves.

34. I feel time is running and I am lagging behind it and I feel the rush but could not do much.
This is just a statement of greed and nothing else. You have to do sadhana as prescribed and then only you can get the result. I think you should shed your laziness and sloth and work hard towards your goal. Your statement also questions the capacity of the Master whether you realise the lapse of not.

35. In the last three months, my orientation and sadhana have varied a lot. Some days there was high orientation and I was sincere in sadhana, and other days I did not feel like doing sadhana, it has also largely been because of my sloth.
When the cause is known we should try to find out the remedy also. This sloth can be overcome only by determination and that comes from the love we have for the goal and Master.

36. During the month the state of mind has generally been calm peaceful and non-impulsive. A sort of general disinterestedness and sloth also prevailed.
Laziness is never a virtue. Corrective methods for this can be only discipline; if you did not have it all along these years it naturally requires more determination and love for the goal.

37. I feel highly concerned by the evil guidance of human kind and by the destruction of life on Earth, which I have seen and felt much more clearly here. Protection of life is more in my prayers than evolution of humanity.
We can protect and defend our human nature only when we destroy the animal in us and cooperate with the Master in the process of divinization of man. It is good nature that is real life. What is there if we save life if that is unicellular?

38. Some anxiety is there sometimes concerning the problems of daily life, but it is more rarefied than it used to be. I just follow the directions and try to focus on doing what I have to do correctly, with confidence in the directions that are given and responsibility.
The problem is very real and very mundane. Be sure that the very law of life gives you enough cooperation to meet any problem in life. More so the law of human life is such tremendous possibility.

39. As we transition into the New Year, I look back on 2007 as one of the most profound and blessed years of my life. I am humbled at the magnitude of the blessing bestowed upon me. When we spoke of trainership, I remember you said that the decision had no impact on spiritual progression. However, by assuming the trainership role, I think I strive for the goal more than I would have done for myself because I feel a sense of responsibility for helping others reach the destination. I understand this logic is flawed because I should have the same inherent passion, but nevertheless, I am grateful to the Master and everyone on the path because without them, I would surely fail.
Your understanding is perfect. I wonder in the chain of devotees where does the first link start? Every one of us need the help and consideration of others in the path and united we move into the Homeland.

40. While I was going through' ganga jumni', your talk delivered on janamshtami some time back, I found the reference to the feeling of divine touch similar to the expression in Gita sloka (vi.28) 'sukhena brahma samsparsham atyantam sukham asnute' and I experience it again and again each time more vividly than before, more so during and immediately after the satsanghs. My heart swells with loving gratitude to your benign self and Rev. Master for having made all this possible to this being in this life itself. Only way of expressing this gratitude, I realize, is to serve Him better and better and in a way that would please Him the most.
Your conditions deserve thanks giving to the Master who is caring for us every moment of our life. What to talk of gratitude? Gratitude to the father and mother are not proper sentiments.

41. After Meditation: Many times I felt empty at heart and I remain in His thought. The effect remains for longer periods (when at home). During the day also, many times I observed emptiness at heart.
Emptyness is a relative word. Try to understand the essence of the same. It is wiser to be in an attitude of gratitude to Master and then our day becomes richer.

42. Over the past few months I was trying to adjust to the situation at my home while pursuing my sadhana. I found that it was challenging to do sadhana without inviting a negative opinion on ISRC/Master because of the way I handle domestic situations and my behavior. I found that most of the time I was not planning things, however simple they are, properly.
Congratulate yourself. Nindak is a quality of a saint. Kindly read Dr. K.C.V.’s commentary on Ten Commandments.

43. When someone comments about Rev Master’s path without knowing anything about the path, I get very angry. I do not show that anger to the person. The persons I am referring to are non-abyasis. For example, one person said that “Meditation will take only to Kaivalyam” referring to PAM. Situation is such that I could not react. But my mind attacks such statements and my thought revolves as if I am answering such statements even in meditation and cleaning. For 2 days at least my thought pattern remains like this and continues when I remember such statements. I cannot let go and dismiss such statements as useless. My mind keeps attacking that. What should I do to let go and look ahead?
As a rule do not discuss matters relating to sadhana with all and sundry. Next even if someone opens up the topic behave as if you are dumb and mute. Our mind should be on the Master whatever we do and we need not react to every statement made for or against sadhana.

44. Feeling of calmness and lightness throughout the day and feeling that Master is close.
It is good that you are shifting towards more positive thinking in natural way.

45. At work place, issues were present at the same time, at personal front marriage got finalized. Had some worries related to this.
Dependency on Master is the key to solve most of the problems. The funniest thing about life is that problems get solved on their own and it is only our attachment to things, persons and actions that make us feel we are doing something.

46. Behaving in unbalanced way at times based on suden impulse. It was, however, very much regulated during the last 3-4 years.otherwise it used to be calm & balanced. Dependency on the Master continued to increase.
Do you mean to say after meditation it has become worse. If that is so you should rethink about continuing meditation. I am sure that is not the position and it is odd notions you have that are at play. Dependency for what? If you are really feeling dependant on the Master the earlier sentence makes no sense.

1. I seem to get into lot of problems because of unnecessary talks. Although I don’t intend to do any harm to others, they think that way & I feel very hurt. I was also reminded by the Master during meditation that unless there is any need to talk, I should maintain silence.
The fish gets into troubles because of its open mouth. There is a saying do not disturb silence unless you are going to improve on that.

More on Sadhana:

1. So long as the sailing is smooth there is no problem and it is only when sails are to be handled and the helm kept firm the readiness of the sadhaka for the journey is known.

2. Regarding the problems in sadhana that you mentioned they are faced by all the aspirants at some stage of life or the other and that cannot be any reason for losing our persevering efforts in the path chosen by us. Ebb and tides are as common to the mind as to the sea and a balanced approach is what is required which I am sure you have. Kindly read more of Masters works and you find many of your problems answered there.

3. It is a general rule in any learning process that there will be a stage similar to the plateau after some improvement. This period of lull or relative sloth is the period of internal consolidation. Again the curve of learning picks up. Patience and perseverance are the means. Please gird up your loins as Master puts it. It is a bad habit to expect results for action and that conditions you into a pattern of thinking which is usually considered not healthy. Your duty is to do sadhana as prescribed and leave the results to the will of Master. There are obviously other things that work on your feelings and emotions and all I can advise is to pray genuinely to the Master placing everything from your heart before him.

4. Even as we move on the path and climb greater heights there are ups and downs in the path and many times a long stretch of plateau. We need to keep moving and I am happy you have that temperament.

5. It is good that you rely more on the Master and less on your intellect now. Most of our problems arise out of imagination. Imagination as you know was given to us to compensate for what we are not; and a sense of humour was given for us to console to us for what we are. I have always found that patience and peace go together even as perseverance and success. Kindly attend to sadhana with all the earnestness it deserves and it will be easy for you to realise its value.

6. While we move up the hill/mountain it is but natural we have some pebbles, stones and thorns hurting our feet. Forbearance and fortitude are our main tools in this regard. Ofcourse the faith in the Master and his method is primary. I find your report satisfying but I can advise to count how many times you patted yourself for the good work you have done during the day ignoring whatever lapses that might have occurred. I think this will give some relief.

7. You have not mentioned anything about the cleaning practices nor about the prayer practices. The importance of these practices has been stressed well in our literature and I request you to study the need for those practices and practice them to derive benefit from this system of sadhana. When our attention is towards us there is generally certain amount of heaviness in the heart but if our attention is on the Master many of the feelings and emotions get cleared even like clouds when there is a good breeze. Try to understand all our problems are problems of relationships and once this wisdom dawns the implementation of the commandments become easier.

8. Proceed with sadhana with absolute determination and conviction in the true love of the divine.

9. It is persistence and perseverance in sadhana that ensures progress.

10. Regarding the Master mentioning the ‘boat had sunk to hide itself in the lake and even to the onlookers it seemed that this was all’ we may perhaps interpret the ‘boat’ as the sadhana and the sinking of the boat in the lake can be taken to indicate that the sadhana got terminated after some very limited attainment as contrasted to the possibility of swimming in the Ocean of Bliss which could have been his lot had he not terminated the sadhana till the goal is achieved under the capable guidance of a Master.

11. To know one’s mistakes and whole heartedly repent for the same is the index of wisdom. To go on thinking that you erred is neither good for the mind nor the soul. Please do sadhana as prescribed and it may not be difficult to come upto your and Masters’ expectations.

12. It is necessary that we should practice sincerely and there are no ifs and buts to it. Otherwise the results will be not to the promised level but according to your deservancy. No problem of yours or for that matter any one else is something totally different from other sadhakas. Most of all the problems are only in our mind and there is no external problem except relating to physical ailments and environmental pollution. So far as I know there is no way available to us in the world which will suit our idiosyncrasies and notions. Learn to live in the higher plane subduing the lower plane and things may become brighter then.

13. Some seek to have the cake and eat it too. That is a type of psychology bordering on greed. We need to be thankful to Master for all that (good and bad) that is conferred on us. It is necessary to be in the thought of the Master trusting Him to know what is good for us and be thankful.

14. One thing we need to learn in spiritual life is nothing stays and least of all stays as we like it. Change in condition will be pleasant or unpleasant according to our expectations. But the main point to note is that expectation is the least spiritual state of mind. As I have been telling 'torpor' and 'excitement' are the two conditions we prefer though both of them are not desirable.

15. While we all have the capacity to bounce back from life's difficulties, sometimes we have a Busted Bounce due to circumstances beyond our control. Life is like a bouncing ball. Sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down. What is most important is not where we happen to be in the cycle of the bounce, rather our ability to bounce back at least once more. Surrender to the Master is possible and is necessary too in our lives.