1. Sir, I am not able to express my feelings in this letter. Spiritual journey of mine is full of impediments, mostly my own making. So stubborn I have become, so much self righteousness I hold I am barely keeping my head above water. My mother’s health is not good, she is in pain and whom I should pray? Am I failing my master? Please accept me again and please let me suffer my mother's pain [back].
Your concern for your mother’s health is appreciable. The problem of back ache is there for almost all the old persons and each one goes through the same in their own way. Prayer is always to the One God who is a Samavarthi and the role of prayer ends when prayer is done with sincerity and devotion. Results are in the hands of God only. I shall surely keep in my prayers your request and pray for your mother’s health also. All is His will and it is human etiquette to remain satisfied with whatever is dispensed by God.

2. Blemish: Rev Brother, I evaluate my adherence to discipline obedience and behavior. On and off discipline related issues comes up in terms of timings. It may be very few times over a month, but it is still a blemish and I seek you to pardon me. I am aware of some of my blemishes and I am working silently on it. Rev Brother at such times in particular I think about the enormous help you are giving to me/us, the work of my trainers and gift of Pranahuti and practices by Rev Master. Instead of thinking of the blemish alone, I try to stay positive by thinking in the above lines. Instead of getting frustrated on a blemish, I get positive energy to move on by thinking in above lines.
If the thoughts of blemish are intense you submit the problem in your prayer taking care to see that you do not seek relief.

3. Feelings of incompetence of self. Whatever competency is there is His. It feels burdensome that I have been entertaining feeling of doer ship and for so long when the real doer is He. Only He can bring up to That stage, whatever that stage may be where He is.
That stage has been well explained as TAM by the Master. Better accept that than indulging in pseudo rationalism. In the above sentences you are beating hot and cold. Be candid.

4. Sir, in your previous email you had mentioned about "pray for your parents and this would be doing your duty". Sir, please advise what is the best way to do this, what thought should be maintained so that i can do this correctly. I hope you will pardon my deficiency in understanding this.
To pray for some one is to present the case of some one to Master to pray for something is not prayer- the beggar has to stretch the bowl and not seek for something to be provided. Read more on prayer of Master and my revered father and in case you find time read mine too.

5. I have noticed that now I have become more cognizant to the intruding thoughts, blemishes and this is leading to more assiduousness in sadhana.
It should in fact lead to better prayer.

6. I feel the prayer is a door for reflection of the masters condition in the states of being. Since it suggest the mind to go there.
Kindly read the 10th Commandment of the Master and his articles on Prayer. What you are doing is not correct. From the above it appears that you do not attend to 9 P.M. prayer for developing universal fraternity and peace.

7. There are difficult situations such as delay in progeny. There were other situations too. I cannot say anything as misery. Most of the time, I have the attitude that this too shall pass. Instead of reacting and struggling, I just submit to Rev Master my helplessness and feel insignificant. I depend on Rev Master.
I have gone through the same with interest and felt happy that you are progressing in a natural manner. Prayer is a means and in a sense also the end. Do not pray for anything other than Him by which I mean His presence. The Master is invariably with the aspirant as a shadow and it requires only sensitivity to feel His presence. Whatever is given or not given is as per the will of the Master and we should be in a state of poise either way. All relationships are God given and therefore to be respected. But that does not permit us to seek any relation in the way in which we want. It is essential that all are one fraternity. If you live in that awareness the desire for progeny will fade out. Note it is the desire that will fade out. Please read the literature of ISRC very carefully and your mind and heart will find more peace with the practice of our system.

More on Prayer:

1. I personally do not think that there is any prayer superior to that of what Master has given. It may be of interest to you to note that I consider “to pray is not to ask and to ask is not to pray”. This is the spiritual way of understanding prayer.

2. Learn to pray and that is the basis of all efforts in spirituality.

3. Prayer is something that gets refined as we pray and finally we come to a state where we donot know whom we are praying and what we are praying for. Everything comes at the appropriate time. One thing that has to be learnt is we are not the doers and hope you are also progressing in that direction.

4. Every person reaps what that person sows and that is an unquestionable logic and dharma. Prayer for the good of others is our duty and a fraternal obligation.