14. Sri T.V. Rao

My understanding of the above saying:

By God’s grace I have never felt either impact or repercussion of the troubles during their occurrence. I have always treated all the issues like any other incident, majority of the time. For me they are issues or incidents, which generally happens in anybody’s life. At the end of the episode only, I analyse the issue whether it is bad or good for me in the future. If I feel it is bad, I will look for ways and means to ensure non-recurrence. If it is good, I will look for various avenues to enjoy its fruits and how to nurture and take it further.

There are some incidents, which are deliberately done, knowing fully that they are not supposed to be done and expressed my inability to God either before, during or at the end.

If anybody is in trouble, firstly I analyse the issue as early as possible, then I will think whether I have any role to play in terms of-

• Physical help

• Monetary help

• Moral help

• and if nothing is there for me, I pray to God for overall benefit and ask HIM to give them strength to handle the problem.

Generally, If I take a decision either good or bad, I seldom change it. And I will accept all the results, in total, without any hesitation.

I treat all the incidents either good or bad equally and my mindset is totally balanced since my childhood. I may cry or laugh during the occurrence, but generally I carry no burden on my heart. In fact, I feel nothing at times.

• Some people, who are close, left their bodies right in front of me, in fact one or two cases in my hands.

• Some people got immensely benefited because of my counseling, monetary help, physical help, etc., and reached greater heights in their life / careers.

• In both these cases my feelings are just equal. In other words, the sorrow and happiness enjoy equal status in my thinking. In fact, I feel great in both these cases, especially in the first incident.

When problems continued for a longer period, I have never asked HIM for their removal but at times, I did pray for strength to carry on things. Also used to think do I have any relationship with “Kunthi in Mahabharatam”? In fact, there was a time, when I talked to HIM, saying that HE has to get tired by giving issues and I will not get tired or bored, as long as HE allows me to be physically present in this body. I know it is my arrogance and expression of ego, but it is my nature not to budge for pressures. In fact, more the pressure, more I become strong. However, I did this on one condition that HE should ensure that I get what I want i.e., my goal and nothing less than that.

I have a feeling that HE hears when we say something with our heart. I have an incident to quote- Once, before joining this system, I casually asked my mother whether it is possible for her to make a gold chain for me, knowing fully my lower middle class background. Next moment she took out two of her gold bangles and asked me to get a chain. She did not have much gold and cash to spare except 4/5 bangles. Later on, I was unable to bear her selfless love, I contemplated, what is that I can give her in return. She taught me all the virtues of life, which include, spiritual stories, integrity, selfless service, sacrifice, duty, endurance, sharing and finally dependence on God, right from my childhood. She was a chronic asthma patient and suffered for over 20 years. Having not interested in any physical / material items, I prayed GOD to transfer some quantity of her disease to me, so that she can get some relief. I did not opt for total quantity perhaps I may be selfish. After 10-15 days or so, I got it. This incident gave me total happiness, one way I established a contact with divine and secondly I was able to repay a little bit of “matru runam”. After that she survived for over 10 years.

Actually my understanding is that one should go through the suffering irrespective of the reason and intensity and then only one can taste the real happiness. When an incident occurs, which is all of a sudden, unexpected, not to our liking, untoward, etc., one should come out of the incident and look at it as a third party which helps him arrive at a meaningful decision. The moment we start thinking whether it is good or bad / to do or not to do, etc., our capacity to handle the issue gets reduced. Often, we do miss the right opportunities.

One should strive hard to convert all the dis-advantages into advantages, which is not a difficult thing if properly executed. I have lost 3 of my members of family, viz., elder brother, mother and another brother in a span of exactly 8 months. During that period I do not have a proper job and regular income and I had to take major responsibility in all the issues. In fact I had to take breakfast and lunch exactly at the same time when my mother’s body was confined to ashes at my native, in a very peculiar circumstances (courtesy cell phones). I never regretted. Their memories hunted me for a very long period. But ultimately I am a very happy person now, since all the above incidents helped me come out of “undue attachments” which are great obstacles in our spiritual journey. In this regard, I can never forget the work done by my Trainers.

To sum it up the sufferings in my life which are in the form of-

• Separations

• Financial tightness

• though I tasted hungry (normal food was available)

• Humiliations/Insults/rebukes

• Horrible childhood, dependence on others virtually for everything except for air to breathe

• Slavery

• Break in studies

• Exposure to various peculiar circumstances, all through my life.

and finally, I confirm the results as flowers (keeping the above as root) -

• Arrival at the lotus feet of the Master

• Got rid of undue attachments

• Development of viveka and vairagya to a great extent

• Goal orientation

• Tremendous amount of confidence in the system and guide

• Leading a more meaningful life

• Understanding wife and two divine kids

• Implementation of custodian concept

• Other than ISRC no other system is available in our minds/hearts

• Self confidence level increased to a greater height

• Control of sensuous thoughts, courtesy “A Point Prayer”

• Universal brotherhood

• I still have some problems but they are not an obstruction in my spiritual journey.

• Tasted the hunger followed by sumptuous food

• He has shown how to walk with bear foot in mid summer and also kept me in flight

• Slept on the floor and also in 5 star hotel.

• Suffered but never ever compromised on quality

• Enjoyed absolute freedom both at office and home

• I enjoyed divine company more in trouble period rather than in happy moments

• For me suffering is clearing off a loan and happiness/enjoyment is borrowing a loan.. here I do not mean that everyone should pray for troubles, which is unfair.

• Despite all the above, HE has given virtually everything whatever I wanted, though, I feel there is some delay in some cases.

• NO REGRETS IN LIFE. I AM BLESSED. MY ONLY PRAYER IS THAT HE SHOULD PROTECT ME FROM NOT FALLING FROM THIS SLIPPERY PATH. (Here, I do not have any doubts either in the system or in myself but only an apprehension)

Finally I quote, Rev. KCV’s saying from Imperience Beckons-

HE LOVES US SO MUCH THAT EVERY OPPORTUNITY IS PROVIDED FOR US TO GROW. WHEN WE ASK FOR STRENGTH, HE PROVIDES US DIFFICULTIES TO MAKE US STRONG; WHEN WE ASK FOR PROSPERITY, HE GIVES US THE BRAIN AND BRAWN TO WORK; WHEN WE ASK FOR COURAGE, HE CAUSES DANGER TO OVERCOME; WHEN WE ASK FOR LOVE, HE SENDS US TROUBLED PEOPLE TO HELP; WHEN WE ASK FOR WISDOM, HE GIVES PROBLEMS TO SOLVE. THE WAY OF INSTRUCTION OF THE LORD IS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND BUT WHEN WE UNDERSTAND THE JOY OF AWARENESS OF HIS LOVE HAS NO BOUNDS.

For the above saying, I am the witness in its totality.